Boy Window Chapter 10: The Bet

Last time in Boy Window...Amber flirted with and then was mouth-raped by a guy name Mark. She kneed him in the balls and got $20 for it. Later on, she wore sexy lingerie, was an inch away from anilingus, and fell asleep in Liams arms.

Chapter 10

“'WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?' Jake roared.”

Well, I should be glad that her phone didn't wake her this time.

“My eyes snapped open, seeing his murderously angry face staring down at me.”

If he is looking at you, not at Liam, with murder in his eyes, then I would be very concerned for Jake's stability. I was joking about the incest, but that kind of protective/possessive is on the wrong side of the line.

 

A little on the Lannister side of things.

Amber gets her bearings, realizing that she and Liam are openly cuddling.

“OK, I need to salvage the situation quickly. 'Damn it, Liam! Yuck! Did you have your hands on me?' I cried, pretending to shudder in horror.”

I would get on her case for not just coming clean at this point but some how I think this is how that would turn out.

Jake wants to know the meaning of this. Amber tries to explain with the excuse that she had a bad dream. Despite the fact that this does not explain why she would be with Liam, Jake accepts this.

“My brother gasped and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around me as he put his chin on the top of my head. 'Oh shit, Amber. It's OK,' he cooed, rocking me slightly.”

From murderous rage to gently cooing in two sentences, you really should be concerned Amber.

Anyway...

Liam and Amber have the “let's tell Jake” conversation again. Amber votes “nay” before attempting to follow Jake into the kitchen for breakfast.

“[Liam] grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him, kissing me again before he have me one of his beautiful smiles.”

We established that the kitchen was next to the lounge (where she is coming from), and Jake is in the kitchen, and that he was murderous minutes ago. And you think this is an appropriate time and place for smooches? You know what? Maybe this is Liam's way of telling Jake. Maybe he wants to get caught so he doesn't have to lie anymore. (Anymore being two days, Urðr's shroud, chapter 6 feels like forever ago).

Anyway...

Amber makes two bowls of cereal, one for her and one for Liam and takes them to Liam in the lounge. If you'll recall, Liam likes to make a bowl of the only breakfast food Amber will eat only for it to be stolen by Amber. This sounds familiar...

I have no idea why. Oh well. Amber is confused when Liam says he doesn't like cereal. He explains

“'I make a bowl of it every day and pretend to eat it before you come in and snatch it off me […] I like to make you breakfast.'”

This is sweet until you really think about it. What Liam is saying is that he knew that Amber would not believe, enjoy, or trust him if he just made her a bowl of cereal every morning. He has to lie to her everyday just so he can perform a small kind act and not have her bitch at him for it. And don't tell me “it's because of Jake” because I have made my friends breakfast before and not required sex in exchange. Beside, if Jake is that sensitive to other men around Amber, then he is reaching Christian Grey levels of assholery.

“I gasped at the revelation.”

People in this book sure do “gasp” a lot. About once every 5 pages, according to the word search function on my Nook. These characters must find themselves short of breathe often.

“Every day I would come in and make some nasty comment to him about eating at home and leaving my cereal alone, and all this time he made it for me?”

Again, because he knew you would bitch at him for it either way. Why does he like you again? Actually, I don't think we ever really established that at all. He has called her attractive in a hundred different ways but other than that we don't know why he likes her.

Anyway...

Jake walks into the lounge preventing Amber from saying thank you, so she runs to her room to text him her thanks.

“'I'll thank you properly later!'”

There are a lot of exclamation points in this too. Approximately 425 to precise. That's 3 every 2 pages.

They go to school. Jessica (the obligatory bitch character from a million pages ago) comes up and is all up on Liams junk. He firmly rebuffs her but Amber is still not happy.

“An acrid taste filled my mouth. The jealousy was rising in me again, so much of it that it actually started to make me feel sick.”

Just so we are all on the same page here, three days ago (in universe) she was not jealous about this same spectacle. She was inconvenienced, grumpy, and crude, but not jealous. Now that Liam is her boyfriend, is more committed to her, and has clearly expressed a wish to be monogamous, she is jealous. When she should feel more secure in his feelings, she feels less. Why? It's not really explained even when Liam chases after a huffy Amber to talk about it.

Moseley addresses that Liam has been waiting for her to get jealous, and Amber finally is, but what has really changed? They are together, Amber recognizes that she was biased against him before, but we still don't know how Amber actually feels about Liam. And this isn't a matter of “show vs tell”. We get that she is comfortable around him, that she likes kissing him, that she is suddenly possessive of him, but how does she actually feel. Even when there are small opportunities to see her feelings change we don't get it.

To illustrate what I mean, let's go back for a moment to when she found out he makes her breakfast every morning. She thinks

“All this time I thought he was just being a jerk, when really he was being nice to me!”

Okay, Amber, how does this change how you thought about him? She could just tell us “I liked him more for it” or some such thing, but she could just as easily said “it made me rethink all the little times he teased me, and my heart fluttered.” But she does neither and just says he was "nice" which is possibly the least affectionate, but still positive, term possible.

Anyway...

Liam talks about how trust goes both ways and how girls should stop pawing him because everyone now knows he has girlfriend.

“'You told everyone that you have a girlfriend?' I asked, shocked. OK wow, maybe he is more serious than I thought about making this work.”

I have written extensively about my love for Meghan Trainor. One Trainor's favorite themes for her songs is how if a guy doesn't want to be seen with you, don't date him. This is an important theme, and works both ways. However, Amber, you were the one who told Liam that you wanted to keep your relationship on the down low. He has wanted to shout it from the rooftops like he is a member of MEST.

Amber goes to class, shaking her butt to the appreciation of three guys from her class and Liam. Gods below, let these guys not attack Amber, I just may shank someone if they do.

In the next paragraph it's lunch time. No one seems to have a life so they are all grilling Liam for info on his girlfriend. He says that she is the sexiest woman alive and when a dude-bro asks if she is good in bed he says he won't answer that. Then some girl name Rochelle says that she is surely better.

“He laughed incredulously. 'You know what, you wouldn't stand a chance. My girl is incredibly beautiful, both inside and out.'”

This is cute, but a cop out of a compliment. What does being beautiful inside and out have to do with sexual prowess? Was he just tired of saying that she is sexy?

Jake says that the mysterious sexy girlfriend doesn't believe in premarital sex.

“I swallowed my laugh. Had Jake seriously believed him when he'd told him that this morning?”

Actually, Liam said that yesterday morning. You know when he told Jake he had a girlfriend before you guys went bowling.

Anyway...

Everyone looses their shit because oh noes, no sex? That is up there with communism on the scale of worst things ever.

“'So, the next girl to nail him wins the pot'”

This is not how teenagers talk. Okay, none of the one's I have ever known.

So here is the dealio. Jessica and all the girls in the school decide that adultry is the only answer. So, like a true 90's movie, they all take out a twenty and who ever has sex with Liam next will get all the money. The only rule is that you have to put money in to win the money.

Amber asks what happens if the girlfriend sleeps with him.

“'Well, if she puts in her money then she can win, but she's obviously not giving him what he needs. He'll stray eventually.'”

Feminist rant in 3, 2, 1! He does not need sex. No one needs sex. It is nice to have but he will not die if he doesn't have it. Stop perpetuating this myth, it helps no one.

“Then I had an idea. I pulled out a twenty and dropped it into their pile.”

Amber, remember you have PTSD from sexual trauma. Even if you are having lusty feelings, when actual sex is happening, the chances of you having an episode and having to stop is high. Not to mention that this will be the only other sexual experience you will have, so the chances of painful, uncontrollable flashbacks, is very high. This is a bad idea. A very bad idea.

Amber, of course, can't hear my counsel, but she hears Jessica say

“'Yeah right! Like you stand a chance, Emo!'”

That line is like using a ghost type attack against a normal type pokemon, not effective.

Amber asks how much money the winner gets.

“'Well, there's two hundred and forty here at the moment, but once people hear of it...'”

12 girls care enough about Liam having a girlfriend that they are participating in this. That is the saddest thing in this book I think.

“'...well, I don't know. The last time we did this, it was for Chris. It got up to six hundred and twenty, but Liam's way hotter and, by the looks of him, untouchable.'”

They have done this before...with 31 participants. I've changed my mind. This is sadder.

“Wow, this is going to be easy money!”

You mean, if it wasn't for that crippling psychological problem that has “isolated” you from “everyone” thus far, right? Right, Amber? Because getting over eight years of abuse in just a few days would be ridiculous right? Especially when this has gone untreated all this time and you supposedly have symptoms of trauma, right? I'm sure this will all be addressed.

Anyway...

Amber waits for Jake and Liam to finish hockey practice. Her friend Sarah walks up to tell her

“'...the pot for Liam's ass is now up to $1860!'”

 93. 93 teenaged girls care enough about this one guy being in a committed relationship to try to ruin that relationship and place money on it. I had a fairly large graduating class, I won't pretend that I knew everyone at my school, but I don't think anyone would care this much about something so asinine.*

“That meant over ninety girls were going to be begging my boyfriend for sex, offering it to him on a plate, and I was scared to let him touch me.”

...scared...scared to let him touch you...when have you been scared to let him touch you? There was that time he tripped then groped you in Chapter 3 and that time you stopped making out in Chapter 7. Other than that, every other time you two are together you are all over each other and you make it a point to say how odd it is that you want him to touch you. If I'm getting mixed messages I feel bad for Liam.

Sarah “flirts” with Liam. He says no. Liam drives Jake to work with Amber in the backseat. Liam is annoyed that everyone wants his dick. Amber laughs and explains why. Jake suggests choosing one and splitting the money. Liam is offended. Amber says she is in the bet.

“Jake turned in his seat, glaring at me angrily. 'You? No freaking way! What the heck are you thinking?'”

Amber deflects his anger by making a joke out how she might lose her virginity to Liam. I don't get how it is a joke considering we all know it will happen, but it takes Jake out of killing mode. Jake says he should try to have sex with as many girls in one night as possible with each thinking they are the first and Amber thinks.

“I gasped, mortified. Oh crap! Great, Jake, put that in his head, I'm sure that's all he needs to hear since his girlfriend's not willing to give it up!”

I am convinced that Amber just likes make outs because she has absolutely no faith in Liam. It's not like Liam has ever cheated on anyone, and her issues aren't with commitment or abandonment. Like, if her dad didn't beat and rape her, but rather withheld his affection and left them, then I would believe this insecurity. As it is, I don't know why she thinks that Liam will cheat or leave her. None of it feels real.

Anyway...

Jake goes to work, Liam drives them home. He apologizes for the bet, she rightfully says it's not his fault. Liam invites her over to officially meet his parents. This is cool with Amber because Liam's mom

“...loved me and Jake, and always said we were like family.”

Which is why when they heard loud noises and the cries of small children coming from next door, they called the cops. Or, when they noticed the mom freaking out if she picked out the wrong shampoo at the store. Or the mysterious bruises on Jake. Or Amber's fearful apprehension on Saturdays. Or Ambers closed off nature on Mondays. Just like family, ha!

The chapter ends with Amber saying how sweet and funny Liam and his parents are. Unfortunately...

Sad, but true. 

*I talked to a coworker who said that teens from her high school would make this kind of bet. After a short conversation, I've come to the conclusion that the kids at my school had more problems than money enough to care, and for Amber and my coworker, the opposite seems to be true.

Boy Window Chapter 9: Bowling and Bad Behavior

Last time in Boy Window...Liam tells Jake he has a girlfriend but doesn't say who. Kate figures it out because she is the only person with enough sense to do so. Also, they are going bowling. That's probably what this chapter is about.

Chapter 9

“Jake sighed. He obviously didn't want to come, maybe Liam was making him.”

Jake seemed fine with going bowling in chapter 8. What was exactly said was “Jake nodded somewhat reluctantly. 'Yeah, OK. I like bowling, I guess.'” He went from silent reluctance to

Okay, not this powerfully, but who else can emote like this.

Jake soldiers on though, leaving the group to bring the car around. What a brave lad.

“As soon as we were alone, Liam grabbed me and kissed me, pushing me against the wall gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck, gripping my fingers in his hair. 'Mmm, I've missed you,' he murmured against my lips.”

Does Liam want to get caught? Jake just went to get the car and Kate her purse, but what is stopping Jake from walking back inside because he forgot something or got impatient? And missed you? You haven't spent more than an hour apart in three days. Or does he mean “I miss kissing you” cause it's been since that morning since he got any action. Maybe Jake and Amber were right, maybe he is sex-crazed.

“A loud throat clearing had us jumping apart quickly.”

 “'You two look hot together,' [Kate] gushed, sighing happily.”

First the pillow, then fondling Jake's junk, and now happily sighing while saying your friends making out is hot. Kate may have problems. Call them cute? Sure. Say that they look good together, or that they match, but hot? That has such a skeezy connotation to it.

“'Angel looks hot whoever she's with'”

Ugh, Amber and I are over Liam's compliments, but Kate swoons enough for everyone. They leave. Amber gives Liam her keys to lock up.

“As he handed me back my keys, his fingers brushed mine on purpose, making me moan a little in the back of my throat.”

Your fingers touched. Get over it. This wasn't even some big epic hand reach scene. If she is like this when he is just handing her the keys, what would happen if he passed her the potatoes at the dinner table.

Kids, go ask your parents what “When Harry Met Sally” is.

Kate asks Liam if he will sit in the back with Amber. Jake shakes his head “adamantly” asking Liam for help, but alas Liam says sure.

“I loved my best friend, bless her, she was giving me time with him.”

Jake is still in the car so it's not like you can do anything sitting next to each other that you can't do sitting behind him. No, I don't think this was Kate being helpful. I think Kate wants to look at them in the mirror so she can plan her masturbatory fantasies for later.

“As soon as I'd clipped in my belt, his hand closed over mine, putting it onto the seat between us and moving his leg so our hands were shielded from view.”

What is with Liam tempting fate? All it would take for Jake to look over his shoulder to change lanes and he would see them holding hands. There is no way that he could cover that with his leg.

“Liam's casual touch was sending sparks of electricity shooting up my arm. I bit my lip and looked out of the window, fighting the desire to grab him and kiss him until I couldn't breathe.”

And that was Kate's plan all along. Make sure your blinds are closed when you and Liam go to sleep.

They arrive. All the Scooby gang is there plus an extra. Don't worry it isn't Scrappy, it's Terri's brother Mark down from college.

“Liam seemed to have an instant disliking to Mark for some reason.”

How can one have a “disliking to” someone. “For” sure, but “to”? That just sounds awkward. By the way, he better not be another attacker. Is there some rapist quota that I don't know about? Like, there must be an attempted rape every 10 pages or we might realize there isn't a plot or a conflict? If so, you're too late.

Amber sucks at bowling but she is happily staring at Liam's butt. Okay, I think it official. Moseley has the butts disease. Someone call Pintsize, he knows how to fix this, though it may be mental scaring.

Strip 2255 "Butts Disease"

Mark starts chatting up Amber offering to teach her how to bowl.

“'It's all about the positioning,' he purred suggestively.”

You know what would be hilarious? If he was actually just trying to teach her to bowl. Like, he is really enthusiastic about bowling and eager to talk to anyone about how to improve their game but does not know how to talk to people so it comes off as suggestive. I'm just saying it would change things up. Play with our expectations. It would be like a pinch of cardamom or cayenne.

Amber is uncomfortable but for some reason decides to flirt a little back. Make no mistake, she is not doing this so she doesn't end up on a milk carton. Her exact words are

“I smiled, a little uncomfortable, but to be honest I didn't mind partaking in a little flirting, just as long as the guy on the other end of it didn't get the wrong idea and start trying to touch me.”

WHEN HAS THE GUY ON THE OTHER END NOT TRIED TO TOUCH YOU! Literally every straight guy who gets more than two lines of dialogue, except for Jake, have tried to force themselves on Amber. Considering even our love interest has, I'm not ruling out Jake as a possibility. It is not Amber's fault for this happening, but given her history, it makes no sense for her character to make this choice.

Anyway...

Mark gives advice that could actually be helpful, she laughs at his flirting. She takes her turn, does not do well, and flirting resumes. She makes a comment about him being cocky. He makes the obvious innuendo. She asks him to turn around because the butts disease has reached her brain meaning we are at the level of the “Ass” song now. He obliges, asking if she likes what she sees.

“'No, I don't, actually. You just don't do it for me, but thanks for the offer'”

Well, that was needlessly bitchy. What was the point in all of this? Why have her flirt when it didn't make sense and then reject him in such a way that could cause retaliation? I know I keep bring up the fact that she is a rape survivor but I only do it because Moseley doesn't seem to remember if it is not immediately effecting the plot. But here is the problem with this.

If Amber was abused and conditioned for eight years to the point where she has nightmares, panic attacks, and a general fear of physical contact, then why would she do something that would obviously piss off this guy? In her experience, all men do not understand the meaning of “no” and “personal space”. I feel like this was done to make her seem like a strong, independent woman but it is just confusing and contradictory.

Anyway...

Her friends give her high fives for being catty, I guess, and Liam looks on with an expression of both hurt and anger.

“I gulped. Oh crap! What did I do? I was just flirting, I wouldn't have done anything!”

This upsets me because Amber keeps telling Liam that he is going to cheat but she is flirting with a guy she has no interest in. Yeah, he should trust her, but from his perspective she only talks about how she thinks their relationship will fall apart and has yet to say how she feels about him. To him, she could just enjoy the no PTSD aspect of their relationship and be willing to put up with being his girlfriend to get it. That doesn't make much sense, but it makes more sense than Amber does generally. She constantly calls Jake and Liam (and everyone else) sluts for flirting but she does it herself. I know I've said it before, but I don't understand Amber.

One more thing then I promise we'll move on. I think Liam has future sight. Think about it, he always knows when Amber is in trouble, he knows when Jake is going to walk in so he can avoid getting caught with Amber, and he knows when a guy is going to be a sexual predator. Okay, that last one isn't fair. All the guys in this are sexual predators.

Amber asks Liam if he is talking to her or giving her the silent treatment for flirting with Mark.

“The thought of him saying no was actually scaring me.”

So the whole reason Amber acted in a way that didn't make sense was so that we can have conflict and see that she cares for Liam. I think there is a better way to do this without the poor characterization.

Amber drags Liam into the lady's bathroom. It's okay, Jake was busy flirting with a waitress so he didn't see. Sure, everyone else in the bowling ally did. And 4 of the 5 people you came with don't know that you wouldn't want Jake knowing that. And there is a guy you needlessly antagonized who may throw a fit to be a asshole drawing attention to you taking Liam into the bathroom. And an employee would see a girl bringing a boy into the bathroom and assume that sex is happening thereby giving them a reason to call security because that is illegal.

Of course none of that is an actual problem. They are even lucky enough to have single stall bathrooms so they just lock the door and don't have to worry about someone walking in. They just talk it out. Amber said she didn't mean anything by the flirting. Liam says he was hurt as he

“...gripped my hips and pulled me against him.”

Krishna damn it, Liam. Not now. You are trying to have a serious conversation that does not involve your pelvis.

“'People don't know we're together so I could hardly say 'Mark, stop flirting with me, my boyfriend's sitting right there'”

No, but you could say “Sorry, I have a boyfriend” or “I'm not interested” or if you wanted someone else to get involved you could tell Jake and he would be the scary big brother, or you know what? I know this is going to sound really crazy. I mean this idea is a little out there, like Voyager out there in the Delta quadrant. But what she could have done was NOT FLIRT WITH HIM! I hate this phrase, but that is leading him on. No, Amber would not be obligated to do anything with him, but she wasn't interested, so why not just tell him that instead of giving the impression she was.

“'I guess not'”

 Don't encourage her Liam.

“'You need to trust me though. I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.'”

This isn't a matter of trust. If she was just talking to Mark, then it would be. But she was playfully flirting with the guy. She was giving everyone the impression that she wanted to pet his snake. So you don't get to be upset when people make that assumption, Amber.

Make outs happen. Make up make outs? That sounds weird.

“'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be all possessive.'”

Amber says he doesn't need to apologize because they are both new to this relationship thing, but before this goes any farther I want to illustrate the point I've yelling about this chapter.

This is possessive.

This is being human.

See that middle frame? The one with Tae Kyung looking on with shock and discomfort? That is normal. Slightly different circumstances, and I still hate Tae Kyung's character. But this reaction is reasonable.

“'I think we need to go back out now before people realise we're missing.”

Now you think of that. No wonder she does so well in school.

Page break. They all go to Amber's house to watch Avatar. Mark continues his courtship, asking what Amber likes to do. She says

“'Lots of stuff. I like to dance and go to movies. You know, normal high school stuff'”

And before I type what Mark says, I have to emphasize that I am not making this up. Keep that in mind.

“'Wow, you really are a feisty one, aren't you?'”

Feisty? Feisty? Is he being sarcastic? I would like to know if he is because otherwise he is an idiot.

What I believe was intended to be “witty” banter ensues. Amber says he is too old for her. He says

“'I could make you change your mind'”

Cause I guess nothing is sexier than rape. Then Amber says this.

“'You know what, I bet you twenty bucks that you've got nothing of interest for me'”

I'm not sure how this bet would work out. I mean, she said she wasn't interested so doesn't she already win? That would be like saying “I bet you a million dollars I hate spicy stuff. Ha! Jokes on you, I DO hate spicy stuff. Where's my money?”

I know this is going to come up later, but if Moseley really wanted a bet to take place she could have had Matt say “I bet you 20 that I can change your mind.” It would slightly more playful and slightly less rapey and it would make a little more sense.

Anyway...

Amber asks how he will convince her. Matt says he will kiss her and she will like it. She says she will knee him in the balls if he does. And guess what happens? Exactly that. He kisses her. She's all panicky but manages to knee him. He forks over a 20. 

I have nothing to complain about this exchange (outside of how the bet is set up) but again, it doesn't make sense for Amber's character.

Thus far she has been assaulted half a dozen times and this is the only time she stands up to her attacker herself. This is not a bad thing, but it is confusing. Why is this time different? What changed? It's okay, great even, if her character did change but the audience needs to know the hows and whys. The mouth rape isn't written any differently than before, and there is no internal monologue to explain were she gathered the courage to knee him. He kisses her. She feels a little panicky. She knees him.

Anyway...

It's bedtime.

“I winked at Liam as I went to bed and decided to put on my smallest pyjamas tonight so I could feel his skin on mine.”

Apparently, she owns pink silk and lace sleeping clothes and Kate convinces Amber to go show them off by getting water. Amber thinks

“Actually, that isn't a bad idea; otherwise he won't get to see until morning.”

Unless they will sleep in absolute darkness, when you go out to snuggle him on the couch, he will see you. And not going out there would have the added bonus of your brother, who pitched a fit when you wore shorts, not seeing you in your lingerie. But she does anyways.

“The way our house was set out, you had to walk through the lounge to get to the kitchen.”

The more I find out the layout of her house the more confused I get. I hope the description stops here.

Liam undress Amber with his eyes. Amber loves the effect. Jake is all “bro, that's my sister and you have a girlfriend”. Amber goes back to her room until she hears Jake go to bed. Kate tells Amber not to do anything that she wouldn't, and this wouldn't be Boy Window if Amber didn't mentally reply with

“Kate had a few boyfriends in her past; I knew she wasn't a virgin. There probably wasn't much that she wouldn't do.”

Just because someone has had sex does not mean that they are okay with all types of sex. She could be all about missionary, or into scat, or be asexual but not a virgin. All of this is possible. Given Kate's hypersexuality, I assume that she is not ace, but that doesn't mean she is down for everything.

Liam and Amber snuggle. He says how it was unfair of her to pranced around in her sexy bed clothes with her brother there.

“'You think I have a sexy ass'”

Amber, he has said as much half a dozen times already. I think he admires your assets. But of course he tells her so.

“Jeez, what's happening to me? I actually want him to touch me.”

I wish I knew. Yes, she has said that Liam has been the exception, and yes rape survivors do still feel lust, but this feels very sudden. She goes from no one can touch her to Liam is a special snow flake and his touch doesn't bother her. Lust is a more complicated feeling than people think, add trauma to that and it gets even more complicated. I'm worried because this a 100 pages in, we still have 160-ish pages to go, and I feel like Amber will be “over” this big emotional hurdle relatively soon. I wish that over coming sexual trauma was just a matter of finding the right partner, but it doesn't work like that.

Liam familiarizes his mouth with her bum. As that does not squeak my duckie, I wasn't into the scene. But hey

Liam, understandably, backs off when he thinks Amber may have an episode, but she assures him that she is having a good time. Make outs happen.

“As his hand slipped under my top, heading up towards my chest, my breathing started to speed.

Oh God, yep, this is way too fast!”

And that was way too casual. This doesn't sound like she is having an episode, this just sounds like someone who has only been in their first relationship for 24 hrs. This is not to criticize when someone has sex so soon, but for crying out loud, all I want is some tension. There is a built-in internal conflict that could easily carry a narrative and it is being relegated to plot convenience. Moseley, you were doing better. What happened?

Amber apologizes for hitting the e-break, Liam says there is no need. He then calls her beautiful.

“I winced. 'How many girls have you said that to, Liam?'”

Yeah, Liam. You can't have thought that other women were attractive! How is Amber supposed to know that you are sincere if you find someone other than herself pretty?

“He sighed dejectedly. 'I can't change my past, Angel; trust me, I wish I could. I've never felt anything for anyone else, I swear. I've never told anyone they were beautiful before, only ever you.'”

So, are first loves the only ones that count? Cause I've been in a number of relationships, and I have said I love you to a fair percentage of them. At the time, I meant it, but does that mean that all other romantic relationships are invalid because of that? Cause that is what I am getting out of this. Otherwise, why reassure her that he has only ever had feelings for her? He can't change his past, but his past doesn't matter. Is he schupting other people now? Is he telling them how much he cares about them now? No? Then it doesn't matter. Although, I will grant that this is a some what real conversation, about a very real concern a lot of people have. It's just not one that has ever made any sense to me.

The chapter closes out with them falling asleep (again), Amber hoping that Liam won't break her heart (again), and Amber convincing herself that Liam didn't whisper I love you.

You know that Bonnie Tyler song “I need a hero”? Well, I need a villain. I just want a bad guy that isn't a one chapter character who assaults Amber and disappears into the air. I don't think that is too much to ask.

Boy Window Chapter 8: Recycle, Reduce, Reuse

Last time in Boy Window...We got actual character development. No, it surprised me too. We also got casual misandry, but at this point, with all the slut shaming, we're better off calling it misanthropy. But character development!

Chapter 8

“I woke to the sound of my phone alarm.”

I'm starting to wonder how many of these chapters start out like this. So far, this is the forth time her phone waking her up starts a chapter, but fifth time this happens in general.

Amber smooches a sleeping Liam and is surprised when he gets a hard on.

“OK, I know I'm new to all this, but this boy seems to lust after me a lot!”

We know. We knew that the last five times you pointed it out. He wants to have the sex. We get. Can we move on?

Make outs happen. Man, I type that a lot. Amber tries to tell him that he needs to leave. They exchange looks of repressed longing, which I imagine look like this.

“Nobody does stares of repressed British longing like Colin Firth” Jill Bearup

“I'd never wanted to even kiss anyone before, let alone the thoughts that were starting to form in my head right now.”

So, Amber is having a “what is this strange feeling in my pants” moment. She reluctantly discusses said feelings with Liam and in one page she manages to address what all of chapter 6 could not.

“'It scares me,' I admitted, feeling stupid and childlike.”

Their exchange here convinces me that Chapter 6 was pointless. All the “important” or “plot relevant” details could have been moved elsewhere and the five pages of dialogue dancing around her insecurities and fears could have been condensed to this moment and it would have been far more effective. As it stands, this feels mildly redundant but better written than when it was talked about earlier.

Liam leaves, they text, the rest of the house wakes up. Jake asks Amber if she has talked to Kate about not touching without consent.

“'...you should be flattered that she likes you, though maybe she'll move onto Liam today.'”

You know I was beginning to think I would never have to use that gif again. I was wrong. Unwanted affection being forced on someone is never flattering no matter who is giving it or who is receiving it.

Liam says he is taken. Jake is confused by Liam not being a douchebag, but proceeds to be a big enough douchebag for both of them.

“'Crazy about her? As in, you're not going to mess her around? She must be a really great screw,' Jake said, smirking and slapping him on the back proudly.”

Perun's bushy beard, Jake you're making defending you uncomfortable when you say things like this. You still don't deserve to be touched against your will though.

Amber is worried that Liam is going to tell Jake. He doesn't. Jake looks on with childlike horror when Liam confesses that his mysterious secret girlfriend doesn't believe in premarital sex. And Liam just laughs asking Amber to tell Kate that he is taken.

“'No way. I give it a week and then Liam will be back to his old self, sleeping with anything that moves'”

You know, for being the two closest people to him, Liam has shitty friends. I know why I question his moral fortitude, but this is his best friend we're talking about. Even if my bestie had all the sex, I would support them if they decided monogamy was for them. It's what you do when you have friends.

Amber thinks for the sixth time that she hopes that Liam won't break her heart. I know that she is emotionally fragile, but this is getting annoying. Liam tells her he won't and we get a page break.

The chapter resumes with Kate and Amber choosing what they will do. Kate says bowling, including Jake, Liam, and two of their other friends. Amber does not care for the idea but agrees. Kate “flirts” with Jake and Liam. I put quotes because it stopped being flirting a few chapters ago and has moved on to propositioning. Finally, Amber puts a stop to this

“'Kate, will you leave them alone? I don't want my slut of a brother, and his reformed slut of a best friend coming if I have to watch you throw yourself at them all day.'”

Not quiet what Kate needs to hear but I will take it.

Jake asks Liam to bring his mystery girlfriend challenging him in a way that I'm not entirely sure men do.

“'Or are you afraid that she'll take one look at me and think she's made a mistake and dump your ass for an up-grade.'”

Considering we know the girlfriend is actually Amber, this is either Game of Thrones-esque foreshadowing or intended to be funny. It's sad that I don't know which.

Liam insists that his lady would not even look at Jake. Kate figures out the world most obvious mystery and demands Amber attend her in the bedroom. They dish, Amber finds out that Liam beat up Trent (assailant number 2, or was it three? Do we count the father and Liam? Are the two guys from the beginning two separate attackers or do they represent one attacker? It is very sad that we are 89 pages in and Amber has had anywhere between 3 and 6 attackers depending on how you number them).

“I gasped, a little shocked”

What? Oh that's right, where were we?

“'He beat up Jessica's brother?' I remembered him pinning him against the wall, but then I ran off to be sick.”

What did you think would happen? A square dance?

Kate gives the low down of the epic battle between – nah I'm just playing with you. Liam punched him a few times and “went home”. Now Kate is speculating about acrobatic monkey sex. Amber denies monkey sex and, once again, we get the same list of Amber's insecurities.

“She grabbed me into a hug, which immediately made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my stomach squirm uncomfortably.”

The more her “symptoms” manifest the more confused I get. Something as innocuous, non-threatening and non-sexual as a hug sets her off, but she can do lifts during her dance class and be fine. Amber is aware that whoever is her base and spotting her probably has their hands all over her. First, she says that Liam is exempt from the no touching allowed rule, but then we have realistic moments when he is not. Just make up your mind. Make no mistake, one thing can trigger an episode one time and not another, but her insistence that it is “every time” creates dissonance between what the narrator is saying and what is being shown. If this is not Moseley trying to create an unreliable narrator, then it is bad writing.

Kate tries to make Amber feel better about Liam saying he hasn't technically cheated on anyone before. Amber does not want to worry about it anymore, wanting to take it one day at a time. Then the chapter closes out on the classy line

“'Damn it! Lucky bitch!' she muttered quietly, making me chuckle.”

This chapter went by pretty fast. This is mostly because it is largely a recap of what we already have seen/heard/know. Some of those repetitive moment are better written than before but it is a little trying to hear the same conversation again and again.

Boy Window Chapter 7: Conflicting

Last time in Boy Window...Liam and Amber went on a date where they talked in circles with Amber saying she probably will never have sex, Liam saying that is fine, and Amber calling his bluff. Also, Amber was propositioned (again) this time by her waiter, and Liam saved her (again).

Chapter 7

This chapter starts with a house cleaning montage. Okay, not a montage, but it might as well be. We find out that Liam is a responsible underage drinker, which is what I guess we will have to take as character development. Sure, we don't know why he does this, but I will take what I can get.

“'Wow, did I actually hear you two laughing at something together in here? That's a first.'”

This comes from Jake, and it makes Liam an awkward turtle because he hates lying to his best friend. Go figure.

Amber asks if Kate can stay over. He is all “gross, she's my sister's age and flirts with me all the time” and Amber takes this opportunity to ask

“'So, you don't think a sixteen year old should go out with an eighteen year old?'”

Jake is all squinty eyed and suspicious but Amber craftily evades detection and says she is asking about a friend. Classic.

Jake says, no they shouldn't date

“'It's almost paedophilia.'”

Actually, depending on were this takes place, it is pedophilia.

Amber says it's only two years, Liam agrees with the sage-like wisdom of

“'I know a lot of hot ass sixteen year olds.'”

Because physical attractiveness is reason enough to ignore maturity, legality, and emotional stability. Thankfully, Jake smacks Liam telling him he can't date any of them. Amber notes that this reaction is an indication that Jake knows about Liams feels, and once again we get told that Jake is against their union.

Kate comes in, Jake winks at her.

“He really didn't help himself, if he wanted her to leave him alone, then why did he encourage her?”

I don't know Amber but I ask myself the same question every time it's brought up.

Amber and Kate go to Amber's room. Kate is all giddy because she gets to spend the weekend with her BFF and two hot dudes. Kate smells cologne on Amber's pillow and Amber lies saying that Liam borrowed it. My mental image is like this

Kate decides that is her pillow now. I just hope that she doesn't take the pillow into the bathroom for an extended period of time or make a shrine for it.

They all get into the living room where Amber sits next to Liam so

“...that my knee touched Liam's thigh.”

Kate offers to be Liam's cuddle buddy and Liam gets awkward and

“...shifted his weight closer to me so that my leg was on top of his more.”

But if her leg was only next to his, like we previously established, then this would look obvious and silly. Kinda like a cat demanding attention.

catversushuman.com is too legit

Kate tells Jake that he will have to do and Amber says how she felt jealous for a second. Amber then laughs because she is shocked that she has emotions and to cover it up she goes to get soda for everyone.

“As I shut the fridge door, Liam grabbed me from behind and made me turn around to look at him. He was standing so close I could feel his breath blow across my face as he took the cans from my hands and set them on the counter.”

She uses that phrase 4 times and him breathing down her neck as much. Is Liam literally a mouth breather? You have to be really close or breathing really hard for this to be the case. Amber must get claustrophobic.

They repeat the “let's tell Jake” conversation with the same results, then Liam asks Amber to tell Kate that he is taken so she stops flirting.

“My breath caught in my throat at his words. 'Are you taken?' I whispered shyly.”

Woman, how many times and ways does he have to say it? Yeah, you haven't gone over “official” titles but if he says he is willing to wait until marriage to have sex (which he did in chapter 6) then I think he is thinking in exclusive terms. I guess Amber is one of those people.

He says he is her's, if she will have him.

“'I'll have you, if you'll have me,' I bargained.”

How is this a bargain? You are not literally exchanging anything you realize.

Liam makes a lewd comment, Amber hits him, and he is all “but your my girl, why can't I be sleezy?” To which, Amber is all “he called me his girlfriend! Swoon!” Then they have a Ever After moment. Where she is all “say it again” and

They kiss passionately before Liam jumps away sensing Jake. No, seriously, we are not giving any reason why or how he knew Jake was just about to turn the corner, but he did. Man Jake why you gotta cock block? I hope you have a good reason.

“'You need to have a word with your friend, seriously, she just grabbed my dick!'”

Well, fuck man, that is a good reason. With Amber's history of abuse, and her desire to protect her brother, she must be Hulking out.

“Liam and I burst out laughing at the same time.”

Amber, your brother just told you that you best friend grabbed his dick without his permission. THAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT! Is everyone in this town a sex offender? Why are they treating this like it is hilarious? If someone did that to Amber both men would have flipped a table. I know this is a thing in a lot of places, but I'm a feminist, so I think that this is just awful. And Amber laughs it off, skipping merrily to go answer the door. WTF?

“I sat next to Liam – which meant that Jake had to sit next to Kate on the other sofa, much to his obvious annoyance.”

I don't blame him. She groped his penis, told his best friend and sister, and got laughed at. I wouldn't blame him if he went and opened some veins now.

They watch the movie, Amber gets scared and by the end is practically in Liam's lap. Naturally, this makes Liam hard. Everything seems to make Liam hard.

“My mind flashed to all the times that he'd been 'excited' near me before, and I started to wonder how many of them were caused by attraction as well.”

The resident male has enlightened me that “the penis does what the penis wants” and I get that, but when he has an erection every time Amber looks at him, I think it is safe to assume that he digs her. Just saying, there is naive and then there is willfully ignorant. Guess which side you are on, Amber.

Amber is scared that zombies will eat her if she goes to the bathroom so Liam checks them for her. There are no zombies and Amber utilizes the facilities. Liam is waiting for her when she gets out.

“'I thought I'd better wait for you. You never know what could be lurking in a dark hallway.'”

Honesty time, I actually really like this. I like that he is taking her paranoia seriously even though it is obviously silly. I like that he isn't questioning it or making fun of her. He recognizes that this is just one of those things that she needs support in. It softens my heart to Liam more than anything else thus far because he has no clear personal gain from doing this, other than endearing himself to her.

They go back to the lounge but not before one more kiss and a wistful cursing of Kate. They play Wii, so I guess we get a time frame for this book now, and Kate asks

“'Hmm, I just can't decide which one has the cutest butt. Who do you think?'”

Both me and Amber reply

“'Ew! Seriously, what's wrong with you? That's my brother!'”

It's weird being in accord with the main characters. I'm so used to them not acting like actual people that this is almost uncomfortable. Although, this makes me wonder why they weren't acting realistically before.

Kate points out that Liam is not her brother and seems to have a thing for her. Amber brushes it off. Liam declares he should probably go home, but before he does, Amber asks him to do a zombie check in her room. He agrees. She follows him.

Liam: “'I'm just sorry I won't be here for you tonight. Try not to have too many nightmares, OK?'”

Me: …

Amber: “'I'm actually really going to miss you half crushing me to death I the night'”

Me: …

Liam: “'Well, I'm really going to miss half crushing you to death'”

Fenrir's fuzzy mane! They are talking like real people. I can tell they like each other and it's not because they are saying so 6 ways from Sunday. It's cute and it works and I hope this continues. I really hope that the first few chapters was just Moseley getting into the swing of things.

During this conversation Amber is straddling Liam and has felt the urge to be a little amorous. She kisses him and Liam lets her take the lead. Make-outs happen on her bed for a page and a half before she hits the e-break.

Again, it's handled pretty well. It's not the most amazing thing I've ever read but for the first time it feels like Amber has feelings and Liam is responding like a likable love interest should.

“I hated myself in that moment. I hated that I couldn't be normal, that I couldn't make out with my boyfriend without panicking and that I would never be good enough for someone like him. I was pathetic.”

Baal's lighting, I really like this scene. I want to be snarky and funny, but I can't. This is exactly what it should be. Good job.

Amber feels insecure. Liam reassures Amber that he is fine with whatever pace they take things at. He leaves and Amber spends a couple pages talking about the nightmare she had while Liam was gone. The nightmare was of when her dad beat Jake and made her pop his favorite ball. The scene is just this side of bland, but we do see Jake asking after Amber when he is struggling to breathe. It develops their relationship more, so I will take it even if it is a little underwhelming.

Amber wakes up crying. Liam texts her to see if she is up. She calls. He comes over. Neck kisses happen and I'm so content with the earlier writing that I won't even complain about it this time.

Liam asks the obvious but important question.

“'You want to talk about it?'”

Amber says no. They decide to cuddle on the couch for a few hours, then separate before Jake or Kate wakes up and the chapter ends.

Guys, I'm not going to lie, this was an extremely conflicting chapter. On the one hand, you have our two main characters laughing at sexual assault. On the other hand, you have actual character development. I still don't know why these character act the way they do. Or why they feel the way they feel. Or where this is all going. But I can at least tell that Amber, Liam, and Jake have feelings. It's weird.