Boy Window Chapter 18: A Whole Lot Of Ew

Last time in Boy Window... there was a battle of “wits” between Jessica and Amber, and we met the step-brother Johnny as played by Gerard Way.

Chapter 18

It's the next day, and Amber's mom is all “why you so happy.”

“I grinned and suppressed a giggle; I couldn't very well tell her that my hottie of a boyfriend had just given me an extremely good reason to be smiling before he climbed back out of my window.”

Jake and Amber talk about Jake's feelings for Kate. It is about as interesting as box mashed potatoes. Liam walks in and he is smiling like an idiot too. Liam says he missed her and this happens

“I heard my mom 'aww' quietly and I tried not to laugh. 'Oh you did, huh?' I said, slapping his hand as he moved it down between my legs under the counter.”

Liam can you not paw at your girlfriend in polite company. You seriously just got laid and her mom is 2 feet away.

More talk of Jake and Kate happens and we get fast-forwarded to school. The crowd of females is not at their car this morning, instead they are at Johnny's.

“'Wow, we really have some sluts at this school!' I whispered to Liam.”

I know, right? It sure is slutty of those girls to be attracted to Gerard – I mean Johnny – like that. What kind of self-respecting woman has feels for a man, let alone a hot man. I just wish they were all like Amber and Liam. They don't spend all of their time trying to have sex with someone.

Amber asks Liam to save Johnny. Liam says

“'Why must you be so damn nice all the time?'”

When has she ever been nice? Johnny is the only person she has been nice to in this entire book. Even her supposed best-friend Kate gets the slut shaming treatment.

Speaking of which, Kate shows up, says she isn't interested in Jake and Amber thinks this

“Jake loved the chase I could tell, he'd never wanted anyone he couldn't have before, and I honestly think he wanted Kate now just because she wasn't interested.”

So we are just reinforcing that Jake is shit. Good, I was scared there for a second that he might make sense.

Liam returns with Johnny. Johnny makes polite conversation while

“...Liam's hand pushed down the back of my jeans, squeezing my behind.”

See? This is what I'm talking about. All those gross whores trying to “talk” to Johnny were just uber sluts, they need to take a lesson in decorum from Liam. I mean, Amber only has to

“...elbow him in the ribs to stop him from feeling me up in the middle of the school hallway.”

They all decide to go to the hockey game on Friday with Kate making her intentions to Johnny known. It makes me want to reread Changeless by Gail Carriger because the BFF romantic subplot in that was more interesting. I mean, the phrase “the caboose of my love has derailed” was seriously used. It was delightful.

Anyway, that's enough about good books. Jessica walks up and chucks the envelope full of money at Amber.

“Holy crap! Did she just give me over four thousand dollars?”

Which makes me realize, if they are somewhere in the UK, why does she keep saying 'dollars'? My understanding, and correct me if I am wrong, is that dollars are not an accepted form of currency in the UK. Is this done just to confuse me?

Jessica says “don't lose it” all ominously, so Amber gets the brilliant idea to do this.

“I stepped up close to [Liam] as I shoved the money down the front of his jeans, pushing my whole hand down there too.”

“'Look after that for me, boyfriend. I'll get it out later,' I purred suggestively as I pulled him down to kiss me. I heard people cheer and clap, guys calling things like 'oh yeah' and 'nice'.”

“I lingered behind with Liam, not wanting to break the kiss. I can't believe I won four thousand dollars! What can I blow that on?”

If you have the faculties to think about the money while kissing your boyfriend you are probably not that into him. I tried to warn you Liam.

They share a laugh at Jessica's expense. I know I've mentioned this before, but I don't get why they hate Jessica. Yeah, she has called Amber “emo girl” and “bitch” but she didn't start with the bitches until after the bet was concluded. Until that point, Jessica really thought that Liam had a thing for her. Yeah, he wasn't making a move, but they did have sex a couple of times and Jessica is young enough to equate that to love. I kinda glossed over it, but in the last chapter, Jessica had a whole speech about how she thought that Liam and she belonged together. It was framed in a “villain's speech” way but to me it sounded more tragic and desperate than anything insidious. Jessica cared for Liam, and he used her for sex and now he is mocking her with the girl that Jessica sees as “the other woman”. More importantly, why do I have more sympathy for a bitchy side character than I do for my main duo?

Anyway...

Liam and Amber ponder how to spend the money. Liam denies any claim to it because

“'I already have everything I could ever want right here'”

They go to class and we learn that a tardy gets you detention but leaving campus without parental consent gets you nothing. Makes sense!

And now for a page break.

“The next month passed really quickly.”

Well, hell it must have if it happened during a page break.

We get an update on the Jake-Johnny-Kate love angle that no one cares about. Kate and Johnny have gone out a couple of times, and Jake does not have feelings for her, he just doesn't like not being the center of attention.

“So, to rectify the problem, he slept with a few extra girls and made himself feel a lot better.”

Remember when Amber was praising Jake's merits? Yeah, I don't know why either.

Johnny has reached BFF status with Amber. Amber goes to one of Johnny's skateboarding competitions, but wait, what's this? He could only get one pass which means that Liam can't go and Amber will be unattended for more than a minute? You know what that means. Sexual assault time!

“I gulped, feeling a little sick...”

Oh, is it because of the crowd? You said once that you didn't like crowds and that they made you anxious.

“...as I looked at the ramp. It was huge...”

Are you being serious Amber? You do know this is a skateboarding competition, right? And that may require him to use a large ramp, right? He is not playing with a techdeck on the stairs.

“The tricks that they were doing blew my mind – somersaults, handstands, everything that you would think of.”

Shoot, child. Johnny better have one hell of a routine if someone is doing a somersault with a skateboard on a 15 foot ramp with a steep incline. My knowledge of skateboarding only goes as far as the old Tony Hawk games, An Extremely Goofy movie, and Rocket Power, but even I know that.

Johnny goes up to take his turn, the whistle blows and

“Panic overcame me, so I squeezed my eyes shut, listening to the people clap and cheer, but I didn't want to see. I knew that the minute I opened my eyes, he'd fall and break his neck.”

...we don't get to see anything? At all? She sets it up for Johnny to blow our mind with his mad skills and we don't get to see it? What, could she not think of a way to top somersaults? Why does everything interesting happen when narration isn't? Is that our punishment for reading this book, cause it sure feels like it.

“Next time I'd have to tell him I couldn't come. I'd just wasted his spare ticket by not even watching it.”

So instead of supporting him and possibly being there for him if he does get injured, your going to stay at home and boink your boyfriend.

Amber tries to lie and say she saw but some how Johnny was able to do fantastical stunts and watch Amber at the same time so he doesn't believe her.

“He'd brought me here to watch and give him support and I couldn't even do that. Clearly I was a useless stepsister.”

Johnny wins third place and Amber hugs him cause she hates human contact. But don't worry, she will remember she has PTSD in a moment when Johnny asks to go home and change before the go out.

“Nausea rolled over me in waves. I couldn't go.”

See? I told you. It's okay though cause all she has to do is think of Liam and PTSD magicks itself away. Makes it easy!

Amber tells Johnny that she can't she her dad. He asks why but all she says is

“'I just don't, please.'”

This is another moment when she could have said anything and it would have worked. Johnny has to know that you guys don't have the best of relationships because in the 2 years that the dad has been in Johnny's life, he never met you until you started going to the same school. You could just say that he left on bad terms and that you aren't comfortable talking about it. It's not like the only explanation is “Sorry, I can't go to your house. You're step dad used rape me once a week and I just can't handle seeing him now.”

Johnny says that the parents and baby went out of town for the weekend and they aren't expected home until late.

“I studied him to make sure he wasn't lying or trying to trick me or something.”

What kind of shitty friends do you have that that is the first place you go?

Amber agrees to go and naturally Johnny asks if he will ever know why Jake and Amber hate their dad so much, but Amber says she doesn't want to talk about it. This bothers me because that is putting Johnny, his mom and baby Matt at risk by not talking about the abuse. Sure, they may not believe that the dad could get away with beating and abusing 3 people for 8 years, but it could also be a much needed warning sign. Amber is not obligated to say anything, but I don't know why she wouldn't want to protect someone she calls a best-friend.

They pull up to Johnny's house. It's ritzy. We find out that the dad is an investment broker of some kind. Amber distracts us with chat about Kate and Johnny smooching. Johnny goes to get changed and showered, and the second he leaves the dad walks in.

Amber tries to escape but is thwarted by a locked door. I think it is the one to the garage which is weird because the lock should be on the outside then and she still can't open it, but whatever, they meet. The dad gives her the pervy once over but the semi adequate description of

“He looked at me, his eyes raking over every part of my body while I just stood there unable to move, unable to breathe. I felt like I was a kid again. I was terrified, and this time I had no Jake to protect me. The man that ruined both our childhoods was standing less than fifteen feet from me.”

is not enough for me to get my hopes up anymore. Having one decent passage every 5 chapters won't cut it. I'm just glad that the chapter is over, and even more glad that there is only 6 more chapters and an epilogue left.