Boy Window Chapter 2: 8 Years Later

Last time in Boy Window. Amber (8) has a douche bag dad that has beaten and sexually assaulted her since she was five. Liam (10) sees her crying one night (cause they're neighbors) sneaks in to her room and they fall asleep snuggling.

Chapter 2

“~ 8 years later ~”

 

This book is not about an 8 year old rape victim falling in love!

“He was spooning me from behind...”

Well, yes that's how spooning works.

“...I could feel the usual 'morning glory' pushing against the small of my back.”

That is an unusually casual response coming from someone who was a victim of sexual assault for at least three years. I guess between chapter 1 and 2 DBD could have been arrested or killed and Amber could have been seeing a therapist to work through her problems. I'll give Moseley the benefit of the doubt.

Meanwhile...

Amber is all “get up”

And Liam is all “No.” glomp

And they sleep. I'm sure this had a point.

“'Amber, you had better already be up!'”

Ah, so the point was to cause conflict? Cause slightly over sleeping is the worst thing ever?

 ...and now you are all singing the song in your head. You're welcome.

Amber and Liam have a spat about over sleeping.

“He chuckled wickedly and dived for me, pushing me back down onto the bed and pinning my hands above my head as he rolled on top of me.”

...And then PTSD?

“'Pinned you to the bed? Were you dreaming about me again?'”

…...And then PTSD?

“His face was inches from mine and his blue eyes glittered with mischief.”

…......And then PTSD?

“I scoffed and clenched my hands into fists, not giving him the satisfaction of watching me attempt to fight him off. I wasn't in a playful mood today.”

….........And then PTSD?

“'Yeah, you wish!' I retorted sarcastically.”

Yeah, I do actually wish you had some reaction other than mild annoyance. This would be fine if she wasn't the victim of years of sexual and physical abuse, but since she is this whole interaction makes no sense. He is being an asshole for being sexually aggressive with someone he knows to have been assaulted, and she is responding like this is nothing when all of chapter one made it clear that she was frequently in this same position with her own douche bag of a father. She can be a strong independent woman but after at minimum THREE YEARS of abuse, she should have some reaction. It doesn't matter how comfortable you are with someone, there have been cases of were people have killed their loved ones while experiencing an episode.*

On that happy note, Liam finally gets out of bed so they can get ready for school.

“We rarely had anything pleasant to say to each other, so the silent treatment was nothing unusual.”

Why don't you have anything pleasant to say to each other? Why are you secret snuggle buddies if you do not have anything to say to each other? Where is this antagonism coming from? It's not because he is an asshole who does not respect the trauma you experienced, because then you would have had a stronger reaction before. So if it isn't that, then I don't get it. If they were just having sex, I would almost understand it more. Yeah, that's physically intimate, but you can have sex with someone you have no romantic feelings for. Cuddling is emotionally intimate. There is a level of trust you need to have when you are trusting another person with your unconscious body.

Moving on, Amber gets dressed and meets the Jake and Liam in the kitchen so they can go to school together.

“His brown hair was messy in his usual 'just got out of bed' look, which, to be honest, he did get out of bed and it looked just like that. All he ever did was run his hands through it a few times and add a bit of styling wax.”

I get it, he has that slightly disheveled look that makes all people interested in men swoon but that took forever to communicate. I suppose this is to illustrate how much she takes notice of him and to reinforce the “we are secret snuggle buddies” business, but it gets tiring.

Also, do people still use styling wax? That stuff sucks to get out.

Meanwhile...

She takes a few sentences to describe how Liam is the foxiest cat in town but it feels generic so I'm going to do a fancast...hm...wrong nationality (probably) but Heath Ledger from 10 Things I Hate About You.

Yeah you're a bad boy, so bad that I bet you'll respect my feelings. Naughty.

Liam baits Amber by eating “the only cereal I like” and saying

“'Running late this morning, Angel?'”

Because I guess he never got out of that “picking on the girl you like” phase. Either way, she steals his bowl of cereal and her brother asks if she's okay.

“Of course I look harassed, I had half an hour to get showered and dressed all because of Liam!”

I know there is that whole “girls take forever to get ready” thing but as a person of the female persuasion, 30 minutes is more than enough. Yeah it can take longer, especially if make up and complicated clothing is involved, but if she is just going to school then she is probably just wearing jeans and a shirt. I guess it may be a problem if she has long hair and likes to blow dry it, but so what? Leave the house with wet hair.

Actually, now that I think about it, what's the setting? Cause wet hair would suck in winter months if it gets too cold. Other than them being in middle class suburbia, we have no idea were they are. Vernacular and spelling leads me to believe they are somewhere in the UK, but we still don't know what time of the year it is except that school is in session. You know what? Benefit of the doubt. I'm only a dozen pages in (according to my Nook) so let's believe that Mosley will explain at some point in time.

Amber narrates that Jake does not know about her slumber parties.

“Jake was extremely protective of me, he always had been, but he had gotten worse since my dad left when I was thirteen.”

Hold the phone. Wait, DBD's gone? But I thought he was the antagonist. So what will the conflict be? Why was he here in the first place? Are his actions going to be the emotional barrier that keeps Amber and Liam apart?

“Well, left wasn't the right word. My brother and Liam had beaten the sorry excuse for a man to a pulp and thrown him out of the house when I was thirteen because they came home early and had caught my drunken father trying to force himself on me […] After they'd thrown him out of the house, and warned him not to come back...”

...they called the police? No? WTF? Yeah I'm all for beating a rapist and abuser but he assaulted her from age 5 to 13. That is 8 years of abuse! He should be arrested. If this guy were real, he wouldn't stop just because he was caught. He isn't fucking Swiper from Dora the Explorer.

Amber tells us that her mom is the personal assistant to a director of an electronics firm and is always out of town so her and Jake take care of each other.

“Liam was also extremely protective of me, but we still didn't get along – even though he had literally spent every single night wrapped around me in my bed for the last eight years […] he still teased me like crazy and annoyed the life out of me just as much as he did when we were kids, but I always knew he would be there for me if I needed him.”

Let's assume that Liam pouncing on her earlier was not a shitty thing for him to do. Let's pretend that that is an okay way of teasing a rape survivor (IT'S NOT). Then why is Amber thinking “Gee somehow I don't get along with this guy who is protective of me, who I cuddle with every night, who is my brother's best friend, who knows about my past trauma, and whom I trust completely.” That sounds a lot like getting along to me. So far, (shitty pouncing aside) his biggest crime has been eating her cereal and making her over sleep. Oh noes?

I get that she is supposed to “not realize” that he is in love with her, but the dude calls her “Angel”, I think he is showing his hand at this point. I mean, I don't get when people fancy me, but that is because I don't like me so I don't understand how anyone else could either. I get that they do, but I don't get why. Amber seems to have the opposite problem. She obviously sees that Liam likes her, but some how draws the conclusion that he doesn't.

“It was as if he had a split personality. By day he would annoy me, making me crazy and angry all the time, and by night he would be the sweetest boy in the world and would cuddle me, making me feel safe and secure.”

So far, we have not seen this dynamic, but maybe that is the conflict. Maybe he has to convince her that he is not crazy and loves her.

Liam then tells her she looks “hot” which she of course scoffs at because he is obviously teasing her.

“My brown hair was still damp […] I had added the bare minimum make up, as usual, just a little mascara to make my grey-green eyes stand out, and some clear lip gloss. My jeans and hoodie combo did not make me look hot in the slightest.”

So I was right on the wardrobe, and why is she pissed at him again? How does this outfit require more than 30 minutes to put together? Why is the narrative focusing on this? It's not like I buy that they may not get together in the end so why bother? Is it just to give Amber the chance to be mad?

I understand that this exchange is to illustrate that he thinks she is pretty and she doesn't, and I get that a self-deprecating character is an easy self-insert character but why would she think that he is teasing? He doesn't say anything else, even when she flips him off, so I don't think he is trying to manipulate her. I don't trust when people compliment me either, but I usually don't think they are trying to tease me. I usually assume they want/need something from me. Word choice is kinda important.

Mmmm...whatcha say...

They drive to school, and she is all “I'm so indie listening to my music in the backseat.” They arrive on campus and then something happens that would never happen at any actual high school.

“When we pulled in to the school parking lot, the car was immediately swamped by people, the same as every morning. Liam and Jake were considered 'hot players' at our school. They were seniors and every girl's dream […] it was sickening.”

1. In what universe does this happen to a non-famous teenager?
2. Why is she so bitter? It's inconvenient sure, but why does she care if her brother and his BF are popular?
3. How do they know when Liam and Jake get to school?

Are they here yet?

“Liam laughed as I cringed getting out of the car, trying to avoid the horde of skanks that banged into me because they were trying to throw themselves at him. One girl elbowed me on purpose. I looked at her in her tiny skirt that looked more like a belt and her top that showed her stomach and grimaced. Jeez, she is such a ho!”

Oh hi obligatory bitch cheerleader (OBC), I'm sure you have fleshed out character motivations.

Seriously though, why the slut shaming? Why the internalized misogyny? I'm going to assume that Moseley has the same problem that E L James has with blondes (ie I hate them because of reasons).

Meanwhile...

Amber and OBC (Jessica) have a “witty” repartee involving missing skirts and “the emo look doesn't work for you” (burn?). Then Amber explains that this is common for them because Jessica and Liam had sex and few times and she wants more. Then Amber follows up with

“For some reason she had never liked me.”

How un-self-aware can you be? I hate this trope in writing, but people do get jealous so I will let that slide, but how emotionally stupid does Amber have to be to not get that Liam digs her?

Or is this Moseley's attempt at foreshadowing?

Liam tells Amber she looks good and Jake smacks him with a “Dude, that's my little sister!” line which makes me wonder why he didn't do that earlier when Liam said she was good looking. But hey maybe, that's the conflict – getting Jake to accept their relationship?

Amber then greets her friends by name (like you do?) and we get this brilliant dialogue.

“Hey, Amber, did you ride in with hot piece of ass one and two again today?”

1. Ew, objectifying people.
2. Ew, that's her brother.
3. Why bother asking when she said that they drive to school together every day?

Amber slut shames her brother while her friend tells her that Jake and Liam are sexy.

“Jake was a great person, but he treated girls like objects...”

Then he is not a great person. Think that's harsh? Change up the sentence. “Jake was a great person, but he treated black people like objects.” See what I mean?

“...and Liam, well Liam was just an all-round jerk.”

Again, if we allow that in this fucked up world, his pinning her down against her will was “playful” then how is he exactly a jerk? Like if Amber was pissed about that, then I would completely agree with her. In fact, I would understand why she is so mad. But nope, he is evil because he gives her compliments, has no sexual expectations of her, but has sex himself.

“School was good, as usual...”

I only mention this because she has used variations of “usual” 16 times in 20 pages and it is kinda getting to me.

Amber talks about how she is popular cause of Jake and Liam and how they keep boys from going after her. This makes her happy because she doesn't want to date, it has nothing to do with 8 years of trauma, she just doesn't want to. Which is fine. Aro/ace is a good thing to be. After a hyper judgmental comment about girls interested in her guys, she talks about how smart she is.

“...although I wasn't a nerd.”

Well, fuck you too.

“'Oh yay, hot piece of ass number one is coming over!'”

Jesus Christ Super Star, who says this? That is your best friend's brother or his best friend. I will admit I had crushes on best friend older brothers but I never told my friends that. You want to know why, cause that aint cool bro! No, I just sat there awkwardly trying to have casual conversation about Linkin Park, Metalica, and General Hospital (which I did not watch).

The next page of dialogue can be summarized thusly

Liam: Hey, Angel.

Amber: Get your manwhore arm off of me.

Liam: I'm going to drive you home since Jake has a date.

Amber: Run along now, I'm sure you have some more STDs to spread around.

Liam: I know you'll want to sleep with me tonight.

Amber: because I'm so in love with you.

Liam: I love you, too. smooches on cheek

Amber: He is the devil and I hate him.

A lot of that was quotation. Okay, except that last sentence.

Later that day....

Amber and Liam are driving home, they stop at a convenience store. She gets pissed because he lifts her up. She stomps off to look at magazines.

"I was happily flicking through Teen Vogue when two boys walked over to me. I stiffened. 'Well hello there,' one of them purred."

Hi, contrived reason for Liam to save her.

The guys try talking to her, she says she's with her boyfriend. They call BS and ask to “get to know each other”

“I felt sick. Oh God, Liam, help me, please! Deep Down I knew I was pathetic but I just hated confrontation and I hated people touching me, especially people I didn't know.”

NOW PTSD!? What about all the times at school when you talked about people touching you? Did that not count? Sure you said “especially people I didn't know” but your trauma has not effected you at all, AT ALL, until now.

Anyway, Liam saves her.

 “Were you surprised? I was surprised.”

“He was always doing sweet things like buying me candy; it was just a shame he was such a man-whore jerk, otherwise he would probably be a nice guy.”

Is her only problem with him that he has sex? Cause that what it seems like to me. She is pissed that girls find him attractive, and she's pissed that he has had sex. Whatever, they get home and she starts making dinner.

“Liam hovered around the kitchen behind me, making me feel violated as he stared at my body.”

Violated? Really? Because if a rape survivor says they feel “violated” it usually comes with a more intense emotion than annoyance. Seriously, all she says is that “my eyes are up here!” and yes, he is being an ass. Yes, she has the right to feel uncomfortable with being objectified, but word choice! Violated is not a word that raped victims just bandy about willy nilly.

She yells at him for making her over sleep and assumes he is stay for dinner. As she turns to go do homework, he grabs her wrist to apologize but all I can think is “I hated people touching me”, but, alas, nothing. He says he is sorry. She says she was sorry she was a bitch. She monologues about how much she liked being so close to him and the last two pages are them watching a movie and going to bed with something that I think is supposed to be sexual tension or chemistry. Woo.

*I talked to a psychiatrist friend of mine and she explained that some people don't manifest symptoms until later in life. Like they will be fine and then drop a potato and remember their trauma. But Moseley makes it a point half way through this chapter to show that she does have PTSD symptoms, it's just selective. So idk what's going on.

Boy Window Chapter 1: It Begins

What ho! Welcome to my very first Let's Read! The first book is The Boy Who Sneaks In My Bedroom Window by Kirsty Moseley. Gods that's a mouthful, let's shorten that to “Boy Window”, awesome sauce let's begin.

The Cover

I do judge a book by it's cover. Cover art is the first form of advertising that readers sees and a lot of work goes into it. This cover is confusing though. I don't get why the window is fogged in the background or where that is supposed to mean they are. The model either has a lazy eye (which is fine) or she is looking off to her left but since the image is straight on and she has no real facial expression, its awkward. Then there is a dude whose face is remarkably close to her hat. Given how their bodies are proportioned and the depth perception of the picture, it looks like he is leaning into her hat. I suppose it is meant to look like he is kissing her head, but what little we can see of his face is also expressionless so it just looks like he is pressing his face into the hat.

Chapter 1

The book starts off with a nameless/genderless character talking about her mom nervously making dinner.

“She was panicking slightly and kept glancing at the clock every couple of minutes. I knew why she did this – my dad was due home in exactly sixteen minutes and he liked dinner to be on the table as soon as he got in.”

I know the image she is trying to paint is of an abuser who has meticulous and unrealistic standards but the idea that his family has to stage a dinner so that the second he turns the nob his wife is setting pasta bake on the table is kind of odd.

“Jake wandered in, playing with his Spider-Man figures. 'Mom, can I go play at Liam's?'”

“No, Jake you'll miss your que and you know the director hates to go retakes!”

The mom says no he can't play with his friends because they have to eat as a family and she flinches. I get that Mosley is trying to illustrate how the mother is conditioned by the abuse, but why would she flinch when talking about dinner? Yeah she is rushing to get the meal made so she wont face the wrath of the evil husband but if just mentioning dinner causes a reaction, how has no one in their life noticed yet? Even if she has no family or friends, when she is buying groceries at the store for bum bum bum dinner, she must have full on panic attacks. I'm pretty sure the cashier/butcher/security guard would notice that.

Little Jake is all bummed cause he can't play with his bestie but then our heroine makes him feel better by stealing his toy.

“I immediately snatched the little man out of his hands and then laughed as he gasped and grabbed it back, smiling and rolling his eyes at me. He was a cute kid...”

Stealing from children? How old are you? I get that he is probably your little brother, but that's just rude.

“...He was my older brother, and as big brothers went he was the best.”

Older brother? How old is he? He acts like a younger kid or is he developmentally challenged? Do you really think you can handle that on your first self-published work Moseley?

“Jake was ten now, two years older than me...”

Our narrator is eight? Please, please, please, tell me that this Young Adult romance novel does not feature the romantic entanglements of an eight year old. This makes the title sound like an episode of Dateline. I'm pretty sure that there is an entire sub genre of hentai dedicated to that premise and I did not sign on for that. But I guess I wont have to worry about an inexperienced writer indelicately handling serious medical concerns, right?

We finally get our main character's name (Amber/Ambs) and as she sets the table she has an inner monologue about her douche bag dad's abuse.

“My dad was extremely particular about everything, if it weren't exactly right then he got angry, and no one ever wanted that. My mom always said that my dad had a stressful job. He always got easily annoyed if we did anything wrong. If you had heard of that saying 'Children should be seen and not heard', well, my dad took that to another extreme.”

So, what? He super sees but does not hear you? Really, what would the extreme of that saying be? Does he go around wearing ear plugs and binoculars?

“Instead he liked 'Children shouldn't be seen or heard.'”

This is one of those things that sounds cool and meaningful but isn't. Does this mean that he ignores all children? That sucks, but their mom seems to be loving, even if a little unstable, so that doesn't seem too terrible. Is that why the mom is freaking out? Because she will have to carry an entire dinner conversation and she has social anxiety?

Or does Amber mean that he dad locks her and her brother up? That is terrifying and awful and would explain why the mom is anxious, but it would not explain why they need to eat as a family. Don't get me wrong, abusers have unrealistic standards for a reason, because when their victims don't meet that standard they can punish them and feel justified but usually their standards aren't so diametrically opposed.

Amber goes on to talk about their routine and how she hates her douche bag dad (DBD from now on) and how much they all walk on eggshells around him. She prays that he had a good day at work and that he is in a good mood when he get home.

Then she talks about Sundays.

“Sometimes, he would be in a really good mood and would hug and kiss me, telling me what a special little girl I was, and how much he loved me.”

You couldn't keep it simple Moseley, could you? You had to throw in child molestation? Don't get me wrong, this is a thing that happens and should be talked about, but some how I doubt that this will be handled with care. Oh well, here is to her proving me wrong. Impress me.

Amber talks about how she doesn't like Sundays with DBD and how they make her uncomfortable. It works with an 8 year old narrator because I don't expect and 8 year old to be able to explore those feelings. In short, she says the right words but is not evoking any response from me as a reader. It would be no different if she was telling me why she doesn't like sand.

DBD comes home and Amber explains that when she was five she was daddy's little girl and everything was sunshine and rainbows but DBD's job at evil-unnamed-bussiness-corp turned him into an abusive asshole. Which is not really how that works. Writers like to do this sometimes, they will choose a thing whether it be drugs, a job, or alcohol, and that will be the trigger that makes an abuser what they are when that's often not the case. Victims want to believe that it is “only” when s/he did this thing did they become an abuser but that is the result of conditioning. Abusers will abuse no matter what.

DBD displays some manic behavior flipping from anger to calm to anger like a pancake.

Amber spills some water and DBD reacts.

“...grabbing the top of my arm and pulling me roughly from the table. Suddenly my back hit the wall.”

At this point, we have no idea how the room or the people are situated so I have no idea how involved this maneuver is. That sounds like it is unimportant, but there is a difference in tone and effect if DBD had to go around a large table to the other side of the room, pick her up and then take her to a wall with no furniture in the way to execute this move, than if he was sitting next to her and threw her backward into the nearest wall.

The brother then jumps in the way to defend his sister and gets thrown to the floor so Amber can “learn” a lesson. DBD slaps her hard enough to knock her to the floor and he precedes to kick Jake who is curled into the fetal position.

“'You don't ever get in my way again, you little shit!' He shouted.”

Throughout a lot of this scene he has been shouting and there has been a lot of discussion about his violence so I have to ask, where are the other people? I joked earlier about people in the grocery store noticing the mom's panic attacks but let's be for real for a moment. I have lived in city apartments, suburban houses, and a ranch house on a few acres of land, all of those times, I heard it when my neighbors yelled. So far, we are given the impression that they live in suburbia with Jake's BFF Liam next door. Not only that but he sees Liam regularly in school and for hockey. How has Liam's parents or his coach not notice that Jake comes to practice with bruises? How has his teachers not noticed Jakes and his sisters matching injuries, they are only two years apart and probably go to the same school. Even if you think that Jake is just rough when he plays hockey, how have they not noticed that Amber is the same? And with Amber, if she has been sexually abused since she was five (when she said DBD changed) then she should be displaying PTSD symptoms with the bruises. Or doctors? How are they being treated for the wounds if he is always this violent? How has nobody called the cops? Yes, people slip threw the cracks of society, but that is generally when they are lower class (for various awful reasons). If they have a house, a stay at home mom, and enough money for at least one kid to have an after school activity, they have to at least be middle class. Meaning that they probably live in a less impacted area, even the public schools would have smaller class sizes and more opportunities for people to notice when a ten year old is vomiting blood and an eight year old burst into tears at the mention of Sundays.

Sorry. I couldn't help the rant. I'll try better next time.

DBD storms out bitching that his life sucks and his kids suck while Amber and Jake cuddle on the floor. Then Amber notices her mom clearing away the dishes and it occurs to me. WHERE WAS SHE WHILE HER CHILDREN WERE GETTING THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF THEM!? Was she just sitting there watching? Was she catatonic? How does Amber and Jake feel about their mom failing in her first duty as a parent to protect them? Nada. Amber has no reaction to her mother watching her get beaten. Amber and Jake go to Amber's room (we get confirmation that they live in middle class suburbia) and they hold hands while listening to their mom take her turn at DBD's rage.

They hang out, play cards, then Jake goes to his own room to sleep.

“'Lock your door,' he mouthed.”

Her room has a lock? No way in hell the type of asshole who randomly and frequently beats and molests his daughter is going to let her have a lock on her door. That makes no sense cause then she could just lock her door on Sundays and when he breaks it down the noise would raise suspicions.

 “It's seems strange that this house needs a new door every Sunday.”

Amber cries and blames herself which is realistic enough, but then she hears a tapping at her window.

“I jerked up, shocked, looking up quickly to see Liam was standing outside my bedroom window.”

I forgot this was a YA romance. I even forgot the title for a bit there but Liam is here to remind me. He sneaks in her bedroom window and Amber monologues about how he is mean and picks on her. This is Mosley's subtle way of saying that ten year old Liam has the hots for eight year old Amber cause elementary school courtship states that he must be a small jackass to her. But what's this? He then comforts the crying girl indicating that he indeed knows about the abuse and has the feels for her! How very swoon worthy this will be when he is old enough for this not to be creepy.

Amber defends Liam's inaction saying that she and Jake begged him not to tell anyone and while that explains his inaction there is still no accounting for literally ANYONE ELSE IN THEIR LIFE.

“'I saw you through the window. I just wanted to come and make sure you were alright'”

Why are the neighbor's windows always parallel to each other in books and movies? In all the places I have lived this has not been the case.

“As I cried against his chest, I realised that he was wearing a Power Rangers T-shirt and matching shorts. I frowned, a little confused as to why he would be wearing that, it was freezing outside. Then it dawned on me that he was wearing his pyjamas, ready for bed.”

Why is it surprising that he is in pjs? He said he saw you from in his room and he is also a small child, is it that surprising that he has the same bedtime?

Liam refuses to leave until Amber has stopped crying and they fall asleep snuggling. She wakes up and panics that DBD will kill him so she kicks him out. He calls her “Angel” and Amber reflects on how dangerous but comforting the night was.