What ho! Welcome to my very first Let's Read! The first book is The Boy Who Sneaks In My Bedroom Window by Kirsty Moseley. Gods that's a mouthful, let's shorten that to “Boy Window”, awesome sauce let's begin.
The Cover
I do judge a book by it's cover. Cover art is the first form of advertising that readers sees and a lot of work goes into it. This cover is confusing though. I don't get why the window is fogged in the background or where that is supposed to mean they are. The model either has a lazy eye (which is fine) or she is looking off to her left but since the image is straight on and she has no real facial expression, its awkward. Then there is a dude whose face is remarkably close to her hat. Given how their bodies are proportioned and the depth perception of the picture, it looks like he is leaning into her hat. I suppose it is meant to look like he is kissing her head, but what little we can see of his face is also expressionless so it just looks like he is pressing his face into the hat.
Chapter 1
The book starts off with a nameless/genderless character talking about her mom nervously making dinner.
“She was panicking slightly and kept glancing at the clock every couple of minutes. I knew why she did this – my dad was due home in exactly sixteen minutes and he liked dinner to be on the table as soon as he got in.”
I know the image she is trying to paint is of an abuser who has meticulous and unrealistic standards but the idea that his family has to stage a dinner so that the second he turns the nob his wife is setting pasta bake on the table is kind of odd.
“Jake wandered in, playing with his Spider-Man figures. 'Mom, can I go play at Liam's?'”
“No, Jake you'll miss your que and you know the director hates to go retakes!”
The mom says no he can't play with his friends because they have to eat as a family and she flinches. I get that Mosley is trying to illustrate how the mother is conditioned by the abuse, but why would she flinch when talking about dinner? Yeah she is rushing to get the meal made so she wont face the wrath of the evil husband but if just mentioning dinner causes a reaction, how has no one in their life noticed yet? Even if she has no family or friends, when she is buying groceries at the store for bum bum bum dinner, she must have full on panic attacks. I'm pretty sure the cashier/butcher/security guard would notice that.
Little Jake is all bummed cause he can't play with his bestie but then our heroine makes him feel better by stealing his toy.
“I immediately snatched the little man out of his hands and then laughed as he gasped and grabbed it back, smiling and rolling his eyes at me. He was a cute kid...”
Stealing from children? How old are you? I get that he is probably your little brother, but that's just rude.
“...He was my older brother, and as big brothers went he was the best.”
Older brother? How old is he? He acts like a younger kid or is he developmentally challenged? Do you really think you can handle that on your first self-published work Moseley?
“Jake was ten now, two years older than me...”
Our narrator is eight? Please, please, please, tell me that this Young Adult romance novel does not feature the romantic entanglements of an eight year old. This makes the title sound like an episode of Dateline. I'm pretty sure that there is an entire sub genre of hentai dedicated to that premise and I did not sign on for that. But I guess I wont have to worry about an inexperienced writer indelicately handling serious medical concerns, right?
We finally get our main character's name (Amber/Ambs) and as she sets the table she has an inner monologue about her douche bag dad's abuse.
“My dad was extremely particular about everything, if it weren't exactly right then he got angry, and no one ever wanted that. My mom always said that my dad had a stressful job. He always got easily annoyed if we did anything wrong. If you had heard of that saying 'Children should be seen and not heard', well, my dad took that to another extreme.”
So, what? He super sees but does not hear you? Really, what would the extreme of that saying be? Does he go around wearing ear plugs and binoculars?
“Instead he liked 'Children shouldn't be seen or heard.'”
This is one of those things that sounds cool and meaningful but isn't. Does this mean that he ignores all children? That sucks, but their mom seems to be loving, even if a little unstable, so that doesn't seem too terrible. Is that why the mom is freaking out? Because she will have to carry an entire dinner conversation and she has social anxiety?
Or does Amber mean that he dad locks her and her brother up? That is terrifying and awful and would explain why the mom is anxious, but it would not explain why they need to eat as a family. Don't get me wrong, abusers have unrealistic standards for a reason, because when their victims don't meet that standard they can punish them and feel justified but usually their standards aren't so diametrically opposed.
Amber goes on to talk about their routine and how she hates her douche bag dad (DBD from now on) and how much they all walk on eggshells around him. She prays that he had a good day at work and that he is in a good mood when he get home.
Then she talks about Sundays.
“Sometimes, he would be in a really good mood and would hug and kiss me, telling me what a special little girl I was, and how much he loved me.”
You couldn't keep it simple Moseley, could you? You had to throw in child molestation? Don't get me wrong, this is a thing that happens and should be talked about, but some how I doubt that this will be handled with care. Oh well, here is to her proving me wrong. Impress me.
Amber talks about how she doesn't like Sundays with DBD and how they make her uncomfortable. It works with an 8 year old narrator because I don't expect and 8 year old to be able to explore those feelings. In short, she says the right words but is not evoking any response from me as a reader. It would be no different if she was telling me why she doesn't like sand.
DBD comes home and Amber explains that when she was five she was daddy's little girl and everything was sunshine and rainbows but DBD's job at evil-unnamed-bussiness-corp turned him into an abusive asshole. Which is not really how that works. Writers like to do this sometimes, they will choose a thing whether it be drugs, a job, or alcohol, and that will be the trigger that makes an abuser what they are when that's often not the case. Victims want to believe that it is “only” when s/he did this thing did they become an abuser but that is the result of conditioning. Abusers will abuse no matter what.
DBD displays some manic behavior flipping from anger to calm to anger like a pancake.
Amber spills some water and DBD reacts.
“...grabbing the top of my arm and pulling me roughly from the table. Suddenly my back hit the wall.”
At this point, we have no idea how the room or the people are situated so I have no idea how involved this maneuver is. That sounds like it is unimportant, but there is a difference in tone and effect if DBD had to go around a large table to the other side of the room, pick her up and then take her to a wall with no furniture in the way to execute this move, than if he was sitting next to her and threw her backward into the nearest wall.
The brother then jumps in the way to defend his sister and gets thrown to the floor so Amber can “learn” a lesson. DBD slaps her hard enough to knock her to the floor and he precedes to kick Jake who is curled into the fetal position.
“'You don't ever get in my way again, you little shit!' He shouted.”
Throughout a lot of this scene he has been shouting and there has been a lot of discussion about his violence so I have to ask, where are the other people? I joked earlier about people in the grocery store noticing the mom's panic attacks but let's be for real for a moment. I have lived in city apartments, suburban houses, and a ranch house on a few acres of land, all of those times, I heard it when my neighbors yelled. So far, we are given the impression that they live in suburbia with Jake's BFF Liam next door. Not only that but he sees Liam regularly in school and for hockey. How has Liam's parents or his coach not notice that Jake comes to practice with bruises? How has his teachers not noticed Jakes and his sisters matching injuries, they are only two years apart and probably go to the same school. Even if you think that Jake is just rough when he plays hockey, how have they not noticed that Amber is the same? And with Amber, if she has been sexually abused since she was five (when she said DBD changed) then she should be displaying PTSD symptoms with the bruises. Or doctors? How are they being treated for the wounds if he is always this violent? How has nobody called the cops? Yes, people slip threw the cracks of society, but that is generally when they are lower class (for various awful reasons). If they have a house, a stay at home mom, and enough money for at least one kid to have an after school activity, they have to at least be middle class. Meaning that they probably live in a less impacted area, even the public schools would have smaller class sizes and more opportunities for people to notice when a ten year old is vomiting blood and an eight year old burst into tears at the mention of Sundays.
Sorry. I couldn't help the rant. I'll try better next time.
DBD storms out bitching that his life sucks and his kids suck while Amber and Jake cuddle on the floor. Then Amber notices her mom clearing away the dishes and it occurs to me. WHERE WAS SHE WHILE HER CHILDREN WERE GETTING THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF THEM!? Was she just sitting there watching? Was she catatonic? How does Amber and Jake feel about their mom failing in her first duty as a parent to protect them? Nada. Amber has no reaction to her mother watching her get beaten. Amber and Jake go to Amber's room (we get confirmation that they live in middle class suburbia) and they hold hands while listening to their mom take her turn at DBD's rage.
They hang out, play cards, then Jake goes to his own room to sleep.
“'Lock your door,' he mouthed.”
Her room has a lock? No way in hell the type of asshole who randomly and frequently beats and molests his daughter is going to let her have a lock on her door. That makes no sense cause then she could just lock her door on Sundays and when he breaks it down the noise would raise suspicions.
“It's seems strange that this house needs a new door every Sunday.”
Amber cries and blames herself which is realistic enough, but then she hears a tapping at her window.
“I jerked up, shocked, looking up quickly to see Liam was standing outside my bedroom window.”
I forgot this was a YA romance. I even forgot the title for a bit there but Liam is here to remind me. He sneaks in her bedroom window and Amber monologues about how he is mean and picks on her. This is Mosley's subtle way of saying that ten year old Liam has the hots for eight year old Amber cause elementary school courtship states that he must be a small jackass to her. But what's this? He then comforts the crying girl indicating that he indeed knows about the abuse and has the feels for her! How very swoon worthy this will be when he is old enough for this not to be creepy.
Amber defends Liam's inaction saying that she and Jake begged him not to tell anyone and while that explains his inaction there is still no accounting for literally ANYONE ELSE IN THEIR LIFE.
“'I saw you through the window. I just wanted to come and make sure you were alright'”
Why are the neighbor's windows always parallel to each other in books and movies? In all the places I have lived this has not been the case.
“As I cried against his chest, I realised that he was wearing a Power Rangers T-shirt and matching shorts. I frowned, a little confused as to why he would be wearing that, it was freezing outside. Then it dawned on me that he was wearing his pyjamas, ready for bed.”
Why is it surprising that he is in pjs? He said he saw you from in his room and he is also a small child, is it that surprising that he has the same bedtime?
Liam refuses to leave until Amber has stopped crying and they fall asleep snuggling. She wakes up and panics that DBD will kill him so she kicks him out. He calls her “Angel” and Amber reflects on how dangerous but comforting the night was.
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