Last time in Grey...Christian gets a background check on Ana that includes her banking info and social. He also goes to her work where he was trying to be awkward but it came off as super creepy.
Chapter 3: Sunday, May 15, 2011
The chapter opens with Christian running and listening to Moby. Does he work out every chapter? Is the reason he can't commit in a relationship because he is already married to the gym? Either way, he is running and thinking about Ana because his life is consumed by the woman he has known for a week, and Moby's music will not sway his thoughts.
“As my feet pound the walkway, sunshine breaks through the clouds and it gives me hope.”
We get a pagebreak, it is two hours later and we get more of what I think is meant to be “charming” and “awkward” but is really confusing and inconsistent.
“Maybe I should take her for coffee.
Like a date?
Well. No. Not a date. I laugh at the ridiculous thought. Just a chat – an interview of sorts.”
In the last chapter, he was thinking about asking her to dinner, he even used the word “date”, and now it is laughable? Is calling it an interview a means to ret-con why their coffee date from the first book was so sterile? And who is he talking to? Does he have an inner god/dess and subconscious too? He has these conversations with himself sometimes but there is never “the thought came to me” or “I thought to myself.” It always just happens. It's all so strange.
After a pagebreak, it's time for the photo shoot and Christian is about to head to the location.
“My hair is wet from my shower, but I don't give a shit. One glance at the louche fucker in the mirror and I exit to follow Taylor to the elevator.”
For those who don't know, “louche” refers to that charmingly disheveled disreputable look. Think Robert Downey Jr. And while I have no problem with anyone owning their hotness, is it just me or does this sound angry/aggressive? Like “I'm an asshole, but a sexy asshole.”
“Are jeans and chucks her signature look?”
Who thinks like this who does not work in fashion media? In the other books, he was always well turned out and he bought her clothes, but he is down right obsessed with fashion so far. Does he go to NYC fashion week every year?
He says hello to Ana who introduces him to Kate. He thinks about how he has Kate to thank for his meeting Ana.
“That thought makes me feel a little more benevolent toward her.”
They talk and Christian talks like an out of touch vampire. It would be one thing if used the same refined language all the time, but he doesn't. He either talks like an asshole or he talks like an Edwardian ponce.
Jose is introduced and, again, Christian's first thought is
“Shit. Is this the boyfriend?”
Your extensive research that was able to turn up her SSN, did not turn up a boyfriend, so why do you think that every male in her proximity is her partner? I know he was this crazy and possessive in the other books, so I should be happy that this is consistent, but we don't get why he is. We get that he is and that he is damaged, but so far this has done nothing to add to the story that we didn't already know. Isn't that the whole point of this book? To develop Christian's character?
Jose tries to stake a claim because Ana's opinion doesn't matter to either of them.
“Well, game on, kid.”
I jokingly call people of all ages kids, but that is just a joke. This is not a joke and Christian is only like 5 years older than Jose, so what the hell?
“Another young man who appears to be working with Rodriguez switches on the lights, and momentarily I'm blinded.
Hell!”
Seriously, that “Hell!” has no more context. I really think that either EL James forgot that Christian isn't a vampire, or that Christian thinks he is. It would explain a lot.
He notices Ana shrinking away from the action and all he can think about is how this means she
“...a natural submissive.”
While that may be, she still may not (is not) into a D/s relationship. Doesn't mean he will respect her disinterest, but I'm just saying that people can have a type A personality and not want to cane someone. And switches (people comfortable in either dom or sub roles) are a thing too you know.
Christian has a creepy moment when he thinks she is too innocent and pure for him. It is supposed to make him seem like he cares, and make the audience swoon because of it but if he did care and actually thought he was bad for her, he would leave her alone. Just saying.
Instead, he asks her to coffee and she says she has to take everyone home but he gets his driver to take them. Christian, if she wanted to have coffee with you, she would have rescheduled. This is how this works in reality. If I didn't know that she wanted to go with him, I would have thought that she was trying to politely brush him off.
The driver (Taylor) doesn't take them, Ana switches cars with Kate and Christian is happy cause he has a date and it is not as cute as it sounds.
Ana is gone for more than a minute so naturally Christian thinks she is making out with Jose. He also irrationally thinks she is doing this to
“...keep me sweet for the article.”
You mean that article that is already written? That article that you really can't stop from being published at this point? When I'm having panic attacks I'm not very logical, that whole panic business will do that to you, but even I would realize that.
They get in the elevator
“As we travel to the first floor the atmosphere is thick with unfulfilled desire.”
Because Ana is really bland and non-responsive, the “unfulfilled desire” feels very one sided. Even knowing that she is totally jonesing for him, I still can't tell that they have any sexual tension or chemistry.
SIDE NOTE: It's about here that I got tired of Christian's general douchie nature, and took a Tom Hiddleston reading sonnets break. I highly recommend it.
And back to the nonsense... He is all surprised at how innocent everyone is, and apparently he doesn't hang out with a lot of tea drinkers because he mentions that Ana is the first.
“I have to wait in line while the two matronly women behind the counter exchange inane pleasantries with all their customers.”
Definitely one of those customers. In a weird way, this book has shown me a new side to Christian. The “I would hate it if he were ever in my line” side. And just so you know, being this person, the asshole who doesn't realize that your cashier is only doing what is required of them and is not paid enough to care that you are in a hurry, will get you shit service fast. Why? Because we all know that dicks like this won't tip but will make your day hell for smiling at them.
The older woman behind the counter does in fact smile at him and he thinks.
“It's just a pretty face, sweetheart.”
He sounds like the type of dude/bro who thinks that everyone wants his dick when they are just trying to provide good customer service. Remember a few sentences ago when you said that these ladies smiled at everyone? Now that it is directed at you it's because you're hot? I'm using my question mark key way too much in this let's read already.
He is an even more hurried asshat while the cashier is just doing her job, he then gets the items and leaves. He gets back to Ana's side. They make small talk about then this happens.
“As she tells me she likes her tea weak and black, for a moment I think she's describing what she likes in a man.”
- What the fuck? Where did that come from? You are talking about her tea, but naturally you assume she segues to men for no reason?
- Who likes weak anything? Especially, when it comes to partners.
- And what if she likes her men like she likes her tea, black and hot. What of it? Hairspray taught me well
In-apropos of nothing they are discussing, Christian asks if Jose is Ana's boyfriend.
“She laughs. At me.
At me!”
Dear Duri below, why does he think that everything is personal? This woman is nice to me, she must want my junk. This woman laughed because I unknowingly said something funny, I'm going to be a condescending dick and think she is naive. Cause he does do exactly that. This happens a lot in media where a character is unaware of a third parties interest and is thought to be naive, and that makes me sad. This person is being somewhat insulted because they believe that the third party values them as a friend and is not simply trying to get in their pants.
There is erotic muffin daydreams and erotic muffin eating. None of it is actually erotic. She says she finds him intimidating which should be a big red flag for her yet isn't, at least not in the way that will help. He agrees. They chat and he is all “she is so self contained” but neither of them have enough personality or depth to pull off being mysterious. On a scale from James Bond to Garnet, they are Scoorge McDuck
He purposefully manipulates the conversation by saying shit
“That will goad her into a response.”
Like you do when you are on a date. There is more chatting and then some self-pity because he doesn't even know if Christian is his real name. Correct me if I am wrong gentle reader, but if I recall correctly, he was 3 when his mom died and I think 5 when he was adopted by the Grey's. He would know his name. There is possibly a whole explanation in book two or three about how this would make sense that I possible skipped or fall asleep during. If not, then this makes no sense. I exist near small children and they know their names by 3.
Christian takes her evasive answers as a power play instead of “I don't want to talk to you, so I will give stilted responses.” Again, we know she is into him, but if I only had his POV to go by, then I would think that she is bored and disinterested.
“'I can recollect some quite probing questions.'
Yes. You asked me if I was gay.”
- I would like to point out that both of these are coming from Christian.
- I guess asking if someone is gay is a probing question. It was an interview, and had nothing to do with anything else, and went no further, but okay. It was almost as if that one question was designed to cause awkward tension and to ensure no slash fic ever be written about Christian. Honestly, I personally don't think it is that big a deal. Would I ever ask someone if they were gay? No, because it is none of my business and it's not like I ask people if they are bi or pan or demi or ace or straight. If someone wants to tell me that, wonderful, I'm glad that they feel comfortable sharing that with me, but I wouldn't consider that probing because sexual appetite doesn't actually say very much about a person.
- What would be probing would be asking Christian about his illicit dealings with Sudan and how it feels to be the world's douchiest smuggler.
Christian whines in his head about Ana possibly being a hopeless romantic because her mother is a serial bride. Which he, of course, being an Alpha male has no interest in, yet he wistfully thinks about taking her to Paris and Cabo. It's not inconsistent, it's “character development” because she is “changing him”
She talks about liking Brit lit. He thinks
“That means I'm competing with Darcy, Rochester, and Angel Clare: impossible romantic heroes.”
Darcy? Sure. Rochester? Maybe. Angel Clare? Did he read Tess of the d'Urbervilles? Was Angel an “impossible romantic hero” when he cast Tess aside when she confessed she was raped? Was it when he tried to take on her former friend/coworker as a mistress but decided against it only because Tess loved him more? What about when he abandoned her for Brazil, an absence that Tess felt so deeply that she became the mistress of her rapist to support her family and eventually murdered said rapist? It's like when people try to tell me that Wuthering Heights was a romance story. All I see is bitterness and resentment corrupting affection.
Christian thinks about how he hates women in pants because they are not as easily accessible. Because all women are there for him to potentially fuck? All I can think is she is not wearing them for him so he can fuck off. Her third strike is asking if he has a girlfriend. You see, Christian can ask if every Tom, Dick, and Harry are her boyfriends, but she can't ask if he is seeing anyone. Nope, too probing. Not quite background check probing, but that is only a problem when someone besides Christian does it.
There is the non car crash scene from Twilight. You know, the one where Bella almost gets hit by a van in her school's parking lot. Only in this version, it is a bicyclist. Don't worry, the tension is real. Those guys are crazy.
He talks about her beautiful eyes for the hundredth time as they are pulled close together by her near death experience. It's supposed to be the sexy powerful moment but I'm still thinking about yowamushi pedal so I'm in my happy place.
He tells her he is not the man for her. She thanks him for “saving her” from the cyclist. They part with Ana mad because Christian is being high-handed, and Christian is a sad panda because she is pissed. Oh well, if only it lasted, then maybe people would learn.
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