Last time in Grey...Christian worked out and fantasized about a women he met minutes before. Oh and he ordered a background check on her. Nothing weird here.
Chapter 2: Saturday, May 14, 2011
The chapter opens with Christian reading Ana's background check. It includes her cell number, which is a real number not a “555” dealio, complete with a Washington area code. I almost want to call it, but then I would feel weird.
“Social Security No:
987-65-4320”
I want to joke, but I can't. This is terrifying. How does he have her social? He also has her banking info but I can't get over that he has her social. Google tells me it is a number reserved for advertising but I find it strange that this is where James invested her verisimilitude. Who does this? Why would he feel the need to if his interest is purely romantic? It's the middle of the day and I am so unsettled by this I want to lock my doors and close my windows.
SIDE NOTE: I googled the phone number and it brought me to a Fifty Shades fanfic...with the exact same information. No Joke, here are the side-by-side screen caps
Guys I think E L James ripped someone off. Okay, someone besides Stephanie Meyer. And Tara Sue Me. EDIT: Apparently, this was in some bonus material at the end of the third book. After a scolding for not properly researching this (the copy I had didn't have this bonus material, I guess this is what I get for not paying for the book), I have come to the conclusion that it is likely the fanfic author took it from there. Or, at least I hope so.
“I pore over the executive summary for the hundredth time since I received it two days ago...”
What the hell is an executive summary? Is there a legislative summary? What about a judicial summary?
“This past week, during particularly dull meetings, I've found myself replaying the interview in my head. Her fumbling fingers on the recorder, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, the lip biting.”
This would be cute if I wasn't scared shitless right now. Way to set the tone by starting with the stalking.
“And now here I am, parked outside Clayton's, a mom-and-pop hardware store on the outskirts of Portland where she works.
You're a fool, Grey.”
That is not the f-word I would use.
“Why are you here?”
That is a very valid question.
“I knew it would lead to this. All week...I knew I'd have to see her again.”
“And I don't do waiting. I hate waiting...for anything.”
You're one of those customers, aren't you?
“I've never pursued a woman before.”
“My fear now is that Miss Steele is just too young and that she won't be interested in what I have to offer.”
Well, she isn't. Does that mean the book is over now? No? Ah, hell.
“Why no boyfriend, Miss Steele? Sexual orientation unknown – perhaps she's gay. I snort, thinking that unlikely.”
Why so homophobic James?
“I haven't mentioned her to Flynn, and I'm glad because I'm now behaving like a stalker.”
Being aware it's wrong doesn't make it any less wrong. And for those who don't know, Flynn is Christian therapist. Yeah, it surprised me that he sees one.
“No. I don't want him hounding me about his latest solution-based-therapy shit.”
- If you think therapy is shit why are you going to it?
- Solution-based-therapy is about making milestone goals and usually used for addiction. (Thanks Dr. Friend for that info!) Considering Christian's primary problem is PTSD, his doctor or therapist would probably not be using it.
- Fuck you, Christian. No real reason, just felt like saying it.
“I'd forgotten the possibilities that a hardware store could possibly present to someone like me.”
“I mainly shop online for my needs, but while I'm here, maybe I'll stock up on a few items: Velcro...”
What could you possibly do with Velcro. I may not have a PhD in BDSM but I guess the better question is: why would you use Velcro?
He finds Ana.
“Absentmindedly, she wipes a crumb from the corner of her lips and into her mouth and sucks on her finger. My cock twitches in response.”
I would see a doctor about that.
“My body's reaction is irritating.”
Glad to know it's not just me.
“Maybe this will stop if I fetter, fuck, and flog her...and not necessarily in that order.”
He thinks about how attractive she is because we didn't get enough of that in the first chapter. He greets her and she says
“'Mr. Grey,' she says, breathy and flustered. Ah, a good response.”
I can only imagine that a “bad response” in his opinion would be to call the cops.
“She's dressed in a tight T-shirt and jeans, not the shapeless shit she was wearing earlier this week. She's all long legs, narrow waist, and perfect tits.”
Everything he says makes me squirm and not the good kind, more like the mouth-breathery kind.
“You'd be amazed what I can do with a few cable ties, baby.”
Cut off circulation? Break skin? Kill someone?
“She's wearing chucks. Idly I wonder what she'd look like in skyscraper heels. Louboutins...nothing but Louboutins.”
She would probably fall over if she isn't use to wearing them. Why is he so obsessed with footwear?
“She really is the whole package: sweet, polite, and beautiful, with all the physical attributes I value in a submissive.”
Another note for people unfamiliar with the series, those “physical attributes [he] value[s] in a submissive” are the same ones his dead mother has. Just keep adding layers onto this shit pile.
He thinks about how she couldn't possibly know anything about the BDSM lifestyle because...reasons. I don't know, maybe it's because she doesn't speak in shitty bondage innuendo.
“Is she laughing at me? Oh, I'd love to put a stop to that if she is.”
...permanently?
Christian frets about asking her on a date which in any other book would be awkward and cute but this is Christian Grey so it comes off as creepy. Especially when this is just a few sentences away from
“I select the longer ties. They are more flexible, after all, as they can accommodate two ankles and two wrists at once.”
He wants to hog tie her with cable ties. Ow. Just terror and ow.
He asks how long she has worked there but he already knows the answer.
“Unlike some people, I do my research.”
Do not make this sound like a work ethic thing. You should not be proud that you are a better stalker than most.
“...the tips of our fingers touch, briefly. It resonates in my groin. Damn!”
“resonates in my groin” I can't even...that's just so stupid. Words fail me.
“I groan inwardly, trying to chase away the image of her suspended from the ceiling in my playroom.”
Considering the last playmate he had (as we found out in the first book) was seriously injured when he suspended them, I would probably not go there. But he is an unrepentant asshole with no regard for other people's wants and safety. Want proof? He choose a natural filament rope because
“It's coarser and chafes more if you struggle against it...my rope of choice.”
You're subs safety is in your hands and you purposefully choice a rope that will hurt them when they move.
They chat. She says more than two words to him about Kate and he thinks
“It's the longest sentence she's uttered since we first met, and she's talking about someone else, not herself.”
And instead of taking this to mean that she doesn't want to talk to him about herself he thinks she is not as self-centered as some other characters. Christian.
He agrees to do a photo shoot for her and gives her his number. A random guy approaches Ana and Christian is immediately territorial. A lot of the series is Christian doing this
any time someone looks at Ana. In book two, he buys the publishing house she works at after she breaks up with him, and purchases portraits of her that her friend made so no one else would have it. But it's romantic because love said so.
“Maybe Welch's facts were wrong. Maybe this guy is her boyfriend. He looks the right age...”
You are only a few years older than her. I have had friends date people 15 years their senior. Stop talking like you are a gods damn vampire who only looks young.
“His handshake is limp, like his hair. Asshole.”
I have been taught that a strong handshake is a sign of a strong personality, but why does his limp hair make him an asshole. Are you just a huge Flock of Seagulls fan?
Head canon: Christen is a Flock of Seagulls fan and he listens to "I Ran" when stalking women.
They finish up their transaction and the phrase
“She's going to need substantial training.”
is used and does not refer to her golf game. He leaves but not before telling her that he is glad Kate was sick. He then goes to his car and is disappointed when she is not staring out the window longingly.
There is a pagebreak where all he does is bitch that she hasn't called since he left her side 5 hours ago (not exaggerating). And then after another pagebreak she does call and he is excited. The end. I am really glad I am only doing these once a week. I don't think my anxiety could handle this crazy anymore frequently.
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