Last time in Wallbanger...some
non-dates, bad baking form, and a scary movie. They also fell asleep
cuddling because scary movies are scary.
Chapter 11
Caroline wakes up and is
having a discussion with herself over cuddling with Simon.
“But I shouldn't be
nooking with Simon. Brain knew better. Nerves were in agreement.”
Eyes were getting tired of
Caroline's excessive compartmentalization but Brain knew better.
Caroline thinks about how
Simon's parents are dead.
“I was close with my
parents. They still lived in the same house where I'd grown up, in a
small town in southern California.”
So close that this is the
first time they were mentioned. She says she likes her independence
and that's why we haven't heard anything about them until now, but it
feels like an excuse. She pities Simon but is impressed by his
ability to not let their deaths rule his life, which I have to admit
makes me happy. I'm tired of Bruce Wayne style love interests.
Caroline snuggles some more
and feels the warning bells of love, another thing for the bingo
card. Caroline rationalizes why they can't be together and falls
asleep to Simon whispering her name.
Caroline wakes up and she is
a kitty in bed. As in, she takes up all the space
“My toes and Lower
Caroline curled.”
Ew. No, that doesn't work
like that. If any part of your genitalia curls, please consult a
medical professional. Immediately.
Simon says they need to make
ground rules for next time, Caroline says there won't be a next time.
“He smiled that smile,
and I sighed.”
That sigh?
Caroline briefly fantasizes
about sex with Simon
“...but I wisely got
control of my inner whore.”
I will admit that I hated
the “inner goddess” aspect of Ana's personality in 50 Shades, but this isn't
any better. Caroline is wildly inconsistent when it comes to sex
positivity. She is fine if she has a series one night stands but is
disgusted by Simon's casual relationships. She says she isn't looking
for love, only a good orgasm, but says she needs to control her
“inner whore.” So which is it Caroline? Can women enjoy sex
without being whores or not?
They make breakfast in a
choreographed silence that is sweet but confuses me. What if Simon
doesn't like granola with milk? What if Caroline didn't want banana?
Too bad, they put it all together and chatted about work. Simon tells
Caroline he is doing a local vacation piece and then meeting everyone
in Tahoe and they agree to drive together.
“Text between Mimi and
Sophia”
They get mad because
Caroline is working with her ex and talk about singalongs.
“Text between Neil and
Mimi”
Neil is surprised that
Sophia knows how to bowl.
“Text between Neil and
Simon”
Simon tells Neil that he is
driving Caroline and asks about Sophia.
“Text between Mimi and
Caroline”
I guess if nothing else this
is efficient if a little boring.
Mimi scolds Caroline for not
telling her about James.
“Text between Caroline
and Simon”
Innuendo and ocean cliffs.
“Text between Caroline
and Sophia”
Sophia scolds Caroline
because she is working with James.
“Text between Simon and
Caroline”
Baking innuendo and bad
driving.
“'I'm not listening to
this.'”
I will listen to whatever
you have to play or say just don't go back to texting.
Caroline says how Simon is
quickly becoming one of her favorite people and I would like this a
lot more if I didn't know that they will get together. It would be
nice to think that they could just be friends because some of their
best scenes together are when they are just being playful and friendly.
Caroline objectifies him
pretty intensely. It's forgettable, just know he is swoon worthy.
Caroline considers how
feasible it would be to have sexy times while Simon drove,
considering the terrain of northern California and depending were on
the I-80 they are, this could end very badly. Instead, she reaches
into the back seat to get cranberry-orange bread. As she does this,
her bum is in the air and Simon says
“'That is one sweet
ass, my friend.' He sighed, leaning his head on it as though it were
a pillow.”
Who does that? It's weird
and kind of gross. Caroline threats to take away his bread privileges
if he doesn't let up. She hands him the loaf and he eats it like Abu
from Aladdin. She calls him weird, he points out that she is still
interested and gives her a rakish smile.
“My panties actually
disintegrated.”
I would argue her use of the
word “actually” but I use a similar phrase to describe many swoon
worthy people so I will let it slide. And with a Han Solo
“I know”
we get a
They arrive and as they exit
the car they talk cocktails. They both thought to make Harvey
Wallbangers and jokes are made. Caroline says
“'Please, you would
make up a drink and call it Pink Nightie just to have me in your
mouth – and don't even try to lie'”
Simon is all
Then everything gets all
tense and serious before Simon breaks it and says they should join
their friends. They find them with their love interests (and not
their partners) on the back porch. Caroline says that making the
relationship swap may be easier than she thought but then Simon says
“'You think its gonna
be that easy?”
Simon was the one who
thought it would be easy in the first place? Did they switch opinions
and no one thought to tell the audience? Or was this a continuity
issue.
And then the chapter ends
with some obvious symbolism about how what they are all looking for
is right in front of them.
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