Monday, February 15, 2016

Chapter 15: Singles Club

Last time in Wallbanger...lots of weirdly formatted narration, Caroline went on a date with her ex, Simon broke up with another lady friend and he formally asked Caroline to go to Spain with him.

Chapter 15

Again, Clayton has a bunch of unattributed dialogue about food. I guess it was important enough for her to mention what everyone is eating but not important enough to tell us who is eating what.

Caroline and friends are eating breakfast and is pleased to find that her friends didn't mind being yelled at until they had sex with the person Caroline wanted them to have sex with. They exchange gossip and the friends do messy spit takes when she tells them about Spain. She then gives them all the details from chapter 14.


Text between Simon and Caroline”

It's a flirty exchange involving the word “spiffy” which is a word I occasionally use and now never want to use ever again. Thanks for that.


She talks to her boss about time off for Spain. They chat about Simon with her boss showing a little non-motherly concern.


Caroline notes someone outside Simon's door, when she goes to spy the woman knocks on Caroline's door.

We appraised each other instantly, in the way that women do.”

I don't really appraise other women, but then I guess I've just never cared enough to. Or maybe it's because I'm not competitive, so the relative hotness of another lady doesn't register outside of “wow, she's pretty.” Either way, I don't much care for the generalization.

It turns out to be a British woman (my guess is Lizzie, the last lady friend we have yet to meet) and there is some hostility as she leaves a package for Simon in Caroline's care. The woman calls Caroline lovely and giggles on her way down the hall. This makes Caroline realize that I was right and it was Lizzie at her door. She asks herself a bunch of unanswerable questions about Simon and ends with an out of place reference to South Park, because cool?


Text between Simon and Caroline”

Actual food porn flirting. I'm not sure I will be able to look at my blender the same ever again.



Caroline is waiting up for Simon to return from a shoot in LA. She calls him while getting dressed for bed. They chat about Lizzie's visit and Simon says

'...for the first time in a very long time, I am...well...I am... you see...”

If he says he's pregnant I will lose it.

'Without...female companionship.'”

I don't know if I'm disappointed or just not surprised. Why not both?

Now that Simon is without companionship, when he knocks on Caroline's door, she invites him in.


An hour later, we sat together at the kitchen table, a decimated loaf in front of us.”

My mental image of Simon eating the bread is Abu from the beginning of Aladdin loudly smacking his lips together to show that he won't share.

They talk about his break up with the girls. Caroline asking Simon if he wants her real opinion

'I mean truth truth, back-and-forth truth. No witty comebacks, no snappy banter...'”


Caroline says she is glad that he is single. Simon says he wants to try monogamy.

A serviceable sexy scene in the kitchen ensues and fades to black before we find out how far it goes.


And because we could leave off the chapter on a sweet and steamy note like that we have one more joke for the cheap seats in the back. In the airplane to Spain no less.

'That kid keeps banging my seat,' he grumbled through clenched teeth.”

I wish I knew more onomatopoeia because that deserves a sitcom sound effect.

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